Sometimes, We Just Need a Change of Environment

When most kids hear summer break, they get super excited. For my son, it is scary. Summer break means a new schedule with new activities and new people. The change is too much. Last summer, it took him a full month to lower his anxiety, stimming, and meltdowns. By the time he loved summer, we had to prepare for school to start. Too bad he can’t be in year round school.

The hard part about summer time is that people are coming and going due to vacations and most activities are flexible with different kids each week. For a child that struggles with change this is a nightmare.

This week, we walked into gymnastics and my son immediately was covering his ears and yelling too loud. I asked him what was too loud. He couldn’t tell me. All I heard was some people talking. I took off his shoes and socks. Then he said, “Too many people. “ There were only five kids in the gym, so I think he meant too many new people since we did not know any of them. He then ran under and chair, started making noises and rocking. I pulled him out, and told him I would go into the gym with him. I could feel his little heart racing.

We went into the gym and my almost six year old sat on my lap. I gave him deep pressure hugs. The teacher asked him to say his name and do a trick. All he could do was make humming noises. It is like the language won’t come out when he has reached this stage of anxiety. He couldn’t move either. After all the kids introduced themselves, the coach got my son to sit with him. I went out to the observation room. About a minute later, my son was next to me. I asked him if it was too much. I told him that we could go home. We said he wanted to stay, but then he curled up in fetal position and started rocking and humming. I could tell that this was escalating fast. I gave him a choice to go into the gym or go home. When he couldn’t choose, we headed home.

This was the hardest day this summer. Most of the time, he will warm up after ten to fifteen minutes and start participating. I look back on the situation and start doubting myself: I should have stayed in the gym with him longer, it is because he is tired from too many activities, I should have let him stim until he was ready (although that might have led to a meltdown if the stimming didn’t calm him). His anxiety did finally calm after crying it out at home. He really needed a new environment where he wouldn’t be over-stimulated.

Yesterday I went over the scenario with our occupational therapist. She gave me a great idea. She said, "Instead of going home to calm him, take him to the bathroom. It is usually quiet there. You wet a paper towel, and put it on his face and arms to give him some calming sensory input. You can also hold him and give him deep pressure. This will help calm him and prepare him for his class."

I loved this idea. Next week, we are going to try it, and see if it helps lower his anxiety. I have also started putting a citrus blend of essential oils on his feel to help with transitioning into summer. Hopefully, our summer will become easier soon.

Self Monitoring: How is Your Engine Running

One thing we work on with our children is self monitoring how they are feeling. This helps them learn how to gain control of their feelings to prevent meltdowns. The self monitoring program we use at home is an ABA tool called “How is your engine running?”

This tool compares your body and the way it is feeling to an engine in a car. When the child’s engine is running low, the child may feel tired, sad, or lonely. When the engine is just right, the child is happy and their body feels good. When the engine is running high, the child might be excited, angry, anxious, scared, or overwhelmed.

To help my kids self monitor with this tool, we made a visual. You can find several examples of these visuals online. It looks like a gauge with a moveable arrow (green- low, yellow- just right, and red- high). 

Once the child is able to recognize their feelings, they can learn how to get in the middle of the gauge to feeling just right. For example, if the child’s engine is low, they might need a nap, hug, crunchy or sour snack, or movement activity to get them to just right. If the child’s engine is high, they might need a break, deep pressure (weighted blanket/ vest), hug, calming music, fidget, or movement.

Using this tool in our house has been a huge blessing. It has helped my children express their feelings/ needs and learn tool on how to self regulate. I hope this tool can help your child too.

Reflecting on Therapeutic Riding

Last Month, while driving, my two year old daughter yelled, "Pretty horse, I want horse." My son immediately looked at her, and said, "Sissy, a horse is lots of work. They have big poop that you have to shovel. You have to get them dressed and undressed. You have to brush them. You have to clean their shoes. You have to walk them. You have to give them food and water. You have to fix their boo boo and give them a treat. It is a lot of work to have a pretty horse."

I was amazed at what he said. He has learned so much about responsibility and has gained so much confidence through Horses for Healing. It is such an incredible program. It is neat to look back and see how far he has come.

When my son was almost two, he lost his language and began to withdraw after being sick for a couple weeks with high fevers. After speech therapy for a year, he started speaking in phrases again, although, it was hard to understand what he was saying.

It was during this time that we started therapeutic riding. Now, after a little more than two years, he is speaking in conversation and his words are clearer. The movement of the horse helps him pace himself while talking. He is making better eye contact and feels more confident engaging with others after spending time here engaging with the volunteers and other riders.

I am so thankful for this program and the strides the horses are making in the kids lives. With every lesson, my son is getting physically and mentally stronger. The things the kids are learning here, such as, responsibility, confidence, and engaging with others will not just help them today, but throughout their lifetime.