Forgiving Others

The weather was amazing today, so I decided to take my kids to the park. After launching rockets with our rocket launcher, the kids wanted to go play on the playground. I watched both of them run and climb up the rock wall to the top of the tower. They then crossed a bridge and went down the slide. As they began to climb up the playground again, another family joined us. The other mom was pushing a stroller with a baby and toddler while her older three boys walked beside her (One of her boys was close to my son's age. The other two were a few years older). The mom then sat on the bench and the kids ran to play as she called someone on her phone.

My son was ecstatic that "friends" we're there. He ran over to them and started talking to them about playing a game. As I helped my other child up a ladder, I heard the oldest boy ask my son, "What's wrong with the way you talk? Do you want to marry a boy or something?" My son said, "Nothing's wrong." Then started moving closer to them. The boys started running away from him. My son thought it was a game of chase. The older one said, "Stay away." My son continued thinking it was a game and went after them.

My momma heart was so upset and angry. I told my kids it was time for dinner, and we had to go. My son waved bye to the boys as we left. His innocence made it even harder. In the car, my son asked why I was mad, and if he was in trouble. I told him I was mad at the boys for being mean. I told him he wasn't in trouble, and I was proud of him for making friends (socialization/ friend making has been something we have worked on). I left it at that.

Later, as we prayed, my son prayed for his new friends to be nice to people. Then he thanked God for friends.

Tonight as I sit here, I know I have to forgive these boys. They are just children. The little ones were following the example of the older one. The older one has learned a lack of compassion and acceptance from somewhere. It might be from a lack of parenting since mom was on the phone, or observation from others in this world. This child has no idea how thankful I am that my child has a voice. He doesn't know how I cried and prayed for my child to speak again once he lost his voice. He has no idea how many therapy hours we have been through to get where we are today. And even if he did, he is a child and most likely wouldn't fully understand the harm of his words. I wish at that moment I wouldn't have been so angry. I wish I could have talk to him about love and compassion. I hope someone in his life does. 

But for tonight, I am thankful that my child did not understand what this child was saying and doing. I am thankful that my son thought it was just a game. I am thankful for his innocence. At the same time, I worry. I worry about the day when he does understand when others are mean to him. I know that day will break my heart even more. 

But tonight, I let go. I forgive.

Down Syndrome, A Blessing

Before I was born, my grandmother gave birth to an adorable brown eyed boy. She named him, George, after his father. At one of his first check ups the doctor confirmed that baby Georgie had Down Syndrome. The doctor gave her options and even asked her if she wanted to keep the baby. Even though she knew the road ahead would not be easy, she wanted to take it.

 My grandmother to this day would tell you that Georgie is one of the best things that ever happen to her. He taught her that life doesn't have to be perfect and that there is always a reason to celebrate. When my grandmother was left a widow, Georgie gave her reason to keep going and has been her companion.

Georgie not only has blessed my grandmother's life but has affected everyone in our family. My mom developed a love for special needs children and became a special needs teacher. All of Georgie's nieces and nephews have developed great compassion, love, and understanding for the special needs community.

Our family would not be the same without Georgie. We are so thankful that God blessed us with him and gave us reasons to celebrate each day.

Sensory Processing Awareness

I remember when I started noticing things going on with my child. When other people noticed too, I was the queen of excuses. I loved saying he was shy when he would crawl into a quiet space on the playground to hide. I wanted to believe others when they said it was just a phase, but something in my heart knew that we needed help.

The therapist helped me work through my feelings and taught me how I could best help my child. A big part of helping my child was education. Reading about Sensory Processing Disorder and becoming an expert has helped me advocate for my child and get his needs met.
This month is Sensory Processing Awareness month. Here are some basics about the disorder:

All kids with Autism have Sensory Processing Disorder, but not all kids with SPD have Autism; some might have anxiety, ADD/ADHD, or behavior disorders. SPD can cause developmental delays. Children with SPD when overstimulated will respond with flight (run away), fright (freeze), or fight (hit, bite, kick, yell). They are not bad or misbehaving children. They are trying to deal with everything going on around them. Children with SPD do not grow out of it. It is not a phase, but with therapy and intervention, children can learn coping strategies and get help on how their body responds to taking in sensory information.

Some signs of Sensory Processing Disorder include: having trouble focusing, complaining about light or shielding eyes, chewing on everything or mouthing things, handwriting struggles or poor fine motor skills, sitting in W position, moving clumsily or coordination/gross motor difficulties, hearing everything too loud or wanting to play sound too loud, clothing hurts or wants clothes tight, eating difficulties ( gags on different textures or picky eater), hearing difficulties, and touching others too hard or avoiding touch.

A person with SPD will not show all of these signs. There is a large spectrum of this disorder. It can look different on different people. Some are sensory seekers, others are sensory avoiders, and some are both.

If you know in your heart something is wrong, I encourage you to talk to your doctor or occupational therapist. The sooner you get help, the faster your child can learn how to self regulate their system.