Helping Your Child Cope with Transitions and Change

Transitions and change are really difficult for my children. They love routine and the known. Over the past three years, I have come up with some strategies to help them.

1.      Create a visual calendar- Every time we have an upcoming vacation or a big event, we create a family countdown calendar. Every night we talk about what is coming up and put a sticker on the countdown calendar. This helps them feel in control and makes them aware of what is to come.

2.      Create a weekly routine chart- We have a chart up in our kitchen that shows our weekly routine. It has visuals by the words for the kids. On Sunday we look at the upcoming week. If we have something new to add to the week, we will add it on a sticky note and talk about what day it will be on. Then, the kids add the sticky note to the chart. Every morning we review the chart and any new events that were added.

3.      Create a sticker system to reward child for coping with change- My son loves playing with the same toy all day long. To help him change activities during play, I have all of his toys organized in color coded bins. Throughout the day, I will encourage him to pick a new color bin to play with. When he picks a new color, he gets rewarded with a sticker for his sticker chart. Once he gets five stickers, he gets a prize.

4.      Write a social story- My children love bedtime stories. I have created stories to help them with changes that are going on in their life. Recently, my son has had a hard time transitioning into summer. Here is the story I wrote for him:

This week starts summer. During the summer, there is no school for three months. Summer is a fun time to relax, go on vacation, and try new things. This summer I will have afternoon therapy and playtime during the day. During playtime I will get to see friends, swim, and go to fun places. I will have a good time this summer. I will listen to my parents, be nice, and follow the rules. When summer is over, I will go back to school. I will be in a new class and make new friends. It will be a good year.

I put each sentence on a separate page and included basic pictures. He loves this story and wants me to read it right now “all the time”

 

5.       Have a see you soon routine- Saying “see you soon” is very hard. To help ease anxiety during drop off times or times I need to leave my children with a babysitter, I created a “see you soon” routine. Before the “see you soon” time occurs, we spend a lot of time talking about what is going to happen. I also encourage them to ask questions or express any fears, so we can work through them. When the time actually comes to say” see you soon”, I allow them to give a quick three second hug where we count quietly to three, and then let go. Having this routine has really helped ease the stress of transitions.

These five ideas have really helped us when battling change and transitions. However, I have found that my tone and attitude really make a difference with these strategies too. If I get upset or nervous because they are having a hard time, it fuels their anxiety and fear and makes it worse. The more excited and happy I am about the change, the better my children tend to be. So, my biggest piece of advice is try to relax, even when it is hard, and with a gentle voice and smile help them conquered their fear.

Top Ten Items Needed to Help Sensory Kids

There are several extra expenses when you have a special needs child. One of those expenses is in therapy equipment. Therapy equipment is not just for therapy. My children need these items daily and throughout the day to help stimulate and regulate them. Here is a list of my most used therapy items:

1.      Therapressure Brush-This is a hand held brush with soft bristles.  Brushing provides deep pressure input. It helps calm down/ regulate my son and awaken/ stimulate my daughter. I brush my children throughout the day. Each brushing takes about three minutes. You can get this product from Super Duper Inc. They have it listed as a pressure brush.

2.      Critter Vibe- This is a handheld stick with a fun character on it. When you turn it on, the character vibrates. The child can hold it, rub it on the cheeks, or even chew on it. It provides sensory stimulation to the mouth and helps calm down my son. It also helps provide sensory perception for my daughter. I bought my critter vibes from Super Duper Inc.

3.      Nuk brush with Warhead’s Sour spray- This brush resembles a baby’s tooth brush and has a textured end. You spray the sour spray onto the brush and place it in your child’s mouth. You then gently move the brush around the mouth and rub it on the inside of the cheeks to provide oral motor stimulation. The sour spray can also be used alone to help your child during a meltdown. I have found both of these items at Walmart. The Nuk brush is on the baby isle and the sour spray is usually by the checkout area. The sour spray can also be found on the candy isle of most gas stations.

4.      Weighted Blanket- This is a fleece blanket that is filled with glass beads to provide weight and help with self regulation. It has helped my son and daughter sleep through the night. We bought our weighted blankets from Sensory Goods. They have great patterns and even better prices!

5.      Compression Vest- This is a vest that your child wears that makes them feel like they are getting a big hug. It helps calm my son’s anxiety and also helps him focus. We got our compression vest through Fun and Function. They also sell affordable weighted vests there as well.

6.      Weighted Stuffed Animal- This is a stuffed animal filled with glass beads. It helps provide self regulation. My son uses on his lap when we fly to help calm his anxiety. He also sleeps with it at night. We bought our weighted stuffed animal through Sensory Goods.

7.      Chewy Tubes and Stixx- These are rubber tubes that help provide sensory input. The chewy tubes are shaped like a “T” and come in different sizes depending upon your child’s need. The chewy stixx look like a small stick and are scented. Both Fun and Function and Sensory goods carry these products.

8.      Swing- This is an indoor swing used to help calm and regulate my children. It is a platform swing with carpet on the bottom. Sensory Goods has great prices on these swings.

9.      Trampoline- This is a small indoor trampoline. Trampolines are great to help with both stimulation and regulation. Both of my children use it. We bought ours from Walmart.

10.  Sit and Spin- This is a toy that you sit on and spin around by using your hands to push you. It provides great vestibular input and helps with both stimulation and regulation for both of my children. I bought our sit and spin from Achievement Products for Special Needs.


I highly recommend purchasing therapy products from Sensory Goods, Fun and Function, Super Duper Inc., and Achievement Products for Special Needs. All of these companies are found online, and you can order from the comfort of your home. They have great prices and high quality products.

I hope my list of the top ten therapy products for sensory kids helps your child and you. If you have a product you love for your sensory child, please leave a comment. I am always looking into new things that will help my children.

 

Therapy Funding

When I first became a therapy mom funding was not an issue. My husband was a soldier and all therapy was covered through our insurance. However, things changed quickly when my husband entered into the civilian world. With our new insurance, we only get 30 therapy visits a year per child. My son goes through the 30 allowable visits in one month. My daughter goes through the 30 allowable visits in a month and a half.  With their combined therapy cost being $60,000 a year with insurance, I quickly began to research funding options.

Early Intervention

I soon found out that every state offers an Early Intervention Program for children 0 – 3. It is a FREE program that helps babies and toddlers with disabilities and developmental delays. If you Google “Early Intervention” with the name of your state, you will find out who to contact and how to apply for a referral to have your child evaluated. 

After you have applied, Early Intervention will send a state coordinator to your house to evaluate your child to see if your child has a disability or developmental delays. After the evaluation, you will meet with the coordinator and anyone else involved with the testing to review the data from the test. They will talk to you about whether your child qualified and the services available.

If your child qualifies, they will write up an IFSP (Individualized Family Service Plan). This document will explain the services that your child and family will receive. You will then give your consent for services to begin. After receiving services for six months, your child’s goals will be reviewed until they are no longer receiving services.

This program has been amazing for my daughter. The thing I love about this program is that the therapist comes to your house. They also work with you and your child, so you learn how to help them at home.

Special Education through Public School

My son did not qualify for this program because he is over the age of three. However, I found out through Early Intervention that my son could receive services through the public school system for FREE. I went through the same process as I did for my daughter, but through our local school system. I contacted the special education department, and they arranged for my son to be tested. After testing, we set up a meeting for an ARD (Admission, Review, Dismissal process) to go over his IEP (Individualized Education Plan). After the meeting, we scheduled his first therapy session and services began.

 

Once services began , my son did not get the one on one therapy that he was receiving through private therapy. They had a lot of children to service, so they tried to group them in groups of two or three. It was good to help with socialization and focus, but my son made more progress when he was one on one.

 

This program also was a drop off program. I took him to the school and dropped him off with the teacher for an hour. At the end of the session, he would sometimes get homework, and they would talk to me about what they did. I didn't feel like there was a lot of parent training with this program.

Other State Funding

Later, I found out one of the best kept secrets to therapy parents…there are even more services available if you ask and seek them out. I came upon this secret when talking to another mom about my son at gymnastics. She told me that some states have programs available to special needs kids through Medicaid that act as supplemental insurance. These programs help pay what your insurance does not cover. To apply, you contact your local DHS (Department of Health and Services).This program is not free to everyone. If you fall under a certain income bracket, you may pay a monthly fee for services. The paperwork for this program is very intensive, but worth the time and effort. You have to submit all medical forms, evaluations, and therapy progress reports; however, once approved, your child has more therapy options. This program starts at birth and follows your child to age 22 if they continue to qualify. It is definitely something to look into.

Having a special needs child comes with many expenses. Not having to stress out about therapy funding has really helped our family. I really hope this information can help your family too.

Sensory Bins

When I first started this journey as a therapy mom, I had very little knowledge on how I could help my children. Over the years, I have had incredible therapist train me on activities to do at home. One of my goals with my blog is to share weekly some of the ideas they have given me.

Last week, I went to my daughter’s therapist desperate for activities to help stimulate her. We had been to church that week, and my daughter was scratched ten times by another little girl. The teachers did not catch it because she never cried or made any type of noise. They never called me because they thought she was fine since she wasn’t crying. When I went to pick her up, she had totally shut down. You see, my daughter is opposite of my son. Where he is a sensory seeker, she is low registry and an avoider. I need to stimulate her and regulate him. To help both children, the therapist recommended sensory bins.

We made eight sensory bins that can be used all at once or one at a time. If you use several at a time, I recommend doing it in a room or even outside where there is a lot of space and limited distractions. Also, provide a good amount of space between each bin, so the child doesn’t get over stimulated.

Here are my bins:

1.       Cooked spaghetti bin- cook spaghetti, let it cool, and place it in the bin with preschool scissors. This is great for sensory and fine motor.

2.       Spaghetti and pom pom balls- put spaghetti straight from the package into the bin with colorful pom pom balls. This combines hard with soft. For older children, you can even include colored cups for the child to sort the pom pom balls. Sorting is a great fine motor activity to add to this bin.

3.       Sand with army figurines- put the little army figurines in the bin and cover them with sand. This combines gritty with hard. The kids love finding the army guys.

4.       Water with soapy bubbles and ocean figurines- fill the bin half way with water and add a quarter size drop of dawn soap and stir to make bubble. Then, place things that are found at the ocean inside the bin. We had small plastic figurines (fish, seahorse, starfish, shark, turtle, and boat) and some sea shells. This combines wet, soapy, and hard.  

5.       Salt with paint brushes- glue colored scrapbooking paper to the bottom of the bin and fill the bin with a very thin layer of salt (just enough to cover the paper). Then, add paint brushes. This combines the gritty with a fine motor activity of salt painting. My kids love making pictures in salt. It is also one of the less threatening bins for sensory avoiders because they can hold a paint brush if they do not want to touch the salt right away. For sensory seekers, they can salt paint with their fingers too!

6.       Brown rice with gummy worms- place gummy worms at the bottom of the bin and cover them with brown rice. This combines the hard with the gooey. If you have more than one child, you can play a game and see who can find the most worms.

7.       Zip lock bag with LA Looks blue hair gel and ocean figurines- place small ocean figurines (fish, seahorse, starfish) in the zip lock bag and fill bag ½ way with hair gel. Tape the bag at the top once zipped to insure closer. This combines the gooey and hard in a less threatening way because the kids do not get their hands dirty.

8.       Beans with farm animal figurines- place small farm animals at the bottom of the bin and cover them with beans. This combines smooth with rough. When the child finds a farm animal, have them name it and make the animal's sound. If this is too hard, see if your child will copy you as you name it and make the animal's sound.

 

Some of my bins I have to redo every time I want to do the activity (# 1, 4, and 6), but the others I store in our hallway closet. Since I store some of them, I purchase smaller bins (the ones that are a little larger than a man's shoe box) with a lid. I bought my bins at Walmart. They have several different sizes of plastic bins with lids there. I also found the figurines in the toy section at Walmart. They come as a set in quart size bags.

 

Both of my children enjoy the sensory bins. My son jumped right in and wanted to touch everything. My daughter was very resistant and needed a warm up time to process them. For her, I started with the less threatening bins, and I let her join in the fun when she was ready. I never forced her to touch anything. I started doing the bins with my son, and let her watch. Finally, she decided to join us in the fun.

 

I hope these bins will help your family too, and provide stimulation and regulation for your children. Enjoy!

The Unseen Disorder

As a mother of children with SPD, the hardest thing about it is that it is the unseen disorder. My darling son and daughter look just like other kids, so when other people see their behavior, they do not understand. I have been told that if I was just better at discipline, I could make this go away. One day at the doctor’s office a lady actually told me, “I better spank my son, and learn how to control him or my daughter will turn out the same way.” Ironically, my daughter has been diagnosed with SPD too, they just didn’t know it. One of the most helpful books I have found to help my children is called: Understanding Your Child's Sensory Signals: A Practical Daily Use Handbook for Parents and Teachers by Angie Voss OTR. Voss gives you several ideas on how to help your child through a certain behavior. I use this book daily to teach my children coping strategies to help them learn how to react in this over stimulating world. My heart is to help them the best that I can and bring awareness to this disorder.

 

Choose Awareness

He hides under tables, you stare.

He crawls across a floor, you stare.

He spins in circles, you stare.

He screams and covers his ears, you stare.

He makes soothing noises, you stare.

He is clingy, you stare.

He chews on everything, you stare.

He bangs on things to make loud noise, you stare.

He curls up into a ball on the floor, you stare.

You have no idea how he feels, as he is trying to process this over stimulating world we live in.

You do not see his daily struggles, and how much time we spend to help him.

You are not aware of all the testing and clinics we have been to.

You have not prayed and cried for your child wanting to make it better.

You judge- the parents and the child, instead of seeking understanding or wanting to help.

Choose awareness; do not judge.

 

Sensory Processing Disorder.

You Are Not Alone

I will never forget the day I found myself in a children’s therapy center getting my child evaluated. My son who had been ahead on the developmental milestones (picking head up, rolling over, crawling, walking, and talking) by 16 months was showing regression in speech and eye contact. I knew in my heart something was going on even though several friends and family members told me he was fine and would grow out of it. I honestly felt alone and a bit crazy for not wanting to believe them. As I sat in the waiting room, I was hoping they were all right, and the therapist would come out and tell me no therapy was needed.

An hour later she came out and confirmed my mommy heart that therapy was needed. She also wanted to get him evaluated by an occupational therapist. She told me that several things could be causing this. She talked to me about getting a hearing test and having a dentist look at his mouth to make sure there wasn’t anything medical going on. Then, she talked to me about Autism and Sensory Processing disorder.

After our talk, I picked up my adorable little boy, went to the car, and cried. I was scared about this journey and felt very alone. I knew no one who was going through the same thing. Even though my husband and loved ones tried to comfort me and assure me it was going to be okay, I didn’t feel like they really “got it”.

I decided then to do some research. I read blogs, looked at websites, and joined support groups. On the computer, I found other moms who “got it”. Their journeys encouraged me and helped me through this hard time.

I hope my stories will do the same for you. I hope that you will find help, hope, and encouragement here. You are not alone. I get it, and here is a big hug.