Help With Improving Eye Contact

My son has always struggled with eye contact. For four years, therapists have worked with him on it, and stressed how important eye contact is. I remember his first goal was to “maintain eye contact for three seconds”. His eye contact has improved since his first goal, but is still a struggle. The only tip I have been given in the past is to say, “Look at my eyes”, and to get down on eye level to make it easier for him. So, we have done this. I am always saying, “Look at my eyes” or telling him to look at other people’s eyes when they are talking to him. This does help, but it is still difficult.

Tonight after a winter break from horse therapy, we got to go to the stable for riding lessons. His goal today was eye focus. The therapist was trying to get him to look up and focus on a point. My son was struggling with this until she pulled out visuals. She put a picture in each corner of the arena. As he rode towards a particular corner, she told him to look at a picture, and he did it! When she narrowed his focus to a picture, he could focus.

After seeing that this worked, her thought was to play focus games to get him to look up at a particular thing. She said while riding in a car, you can play the alphabet game where he has to find things that start with different alphabet letters; she also encouraged “I spy”. She thinks that once we get him to look up and focus on different objects that his eye contact will improve. It makes sense and is worth trying. I hope it helps! I am always up for trying new things.

Helping Your Child Work through Speech Frustration

For Spring Break, my sister came to visit us. My children where so excited to see their Auntie (since it had been over a year since her last visit). As soon as they saw her, they immediately greeted her, and started talking to her. I was super excited that both of my children did well with this and didn’t need a warm-up time.

It didn’t take long however, before my son got frustrated when communicating with my sister. She only understood him 40% of the time and kept asking him to repeat himself. If she still couldn’t make out what he was saying, she would ask me. He didn’t like this at all. He is a "big boy" and wants to talk for himself. When he got frustrated, he would make a grunting sound or just give –up and shut down. It is hard watching your child feel this way.

Upon seeing how his frustration affected him, I decided to contact his Speech Pathologist to see if she could give me any tips to help him be able to communicate better with my sister. Our amazing SLP got back with me quickly on a weekend! She really is incredible. Here are some things she told me:

1.      Have him slow down- talk to him about talking slower. Have him think about clapping or patting his lap each word so the words do not run together

2.      Demonstrate-  repeat what he is saying to him exactly how he is saying it, so he can hear it and fix it himself

3.      Take a break and think of another word- have him give a synonym for what he is saying. The new word might be clearer than what he was trying to say before

4.      Have him use gestures- Allow him to point or show you, so the person can gather context clues to try to piece together what he is saying

 These tips did seem to help us during the visit. When my son did get frustrated, I encouraged him to talk it out with me. It made him feel better that mommy understood every word.

Visits like these can be hard. You think you have come so far, and then you quickly are reminded about the work that is still to come. During times like this, I constantly remind myself of where we were, and the progress that has been made. It gives me hope that one day, he will go up to his Auntie, and she will know every word he says.

Meaningful Play (Play Therapy)

When my son first started therapy, the first thing the therapist taught me was meaningful play. Meaningful play means that the play activities I plan at home have a purpose. For example, when my son was struggling with speech and sounds at two years old, the therapist encouraged me to play with a farm set and make animal noises with my son. I would get out the farm, tractor, farmer, and animals. Then, we would play. As we played, I would interact by asking questions and replying to my questions when needed. For example:

 “What animal is that?”

“Is that a pig?”

“What sound does a pig make?”

”Does he say oink?”

“Can you say oink?”

“Look, here is a tractor.”

“What sound does a tractor make?”

“Does it go vroom?”

“Can you make it go vroom?”

 

When asking questions, I would watch for my son’s interest. Whatever animal he picked up, we talked about it. I would encourage him to pick different animals, so we could work on different sounds.

 

Before learning about meaningful play, I would just let my child play with his toys and explore. I still let him do this, but I also incorporate meaningful play activities too. The great thing about meaningful play activities is that you are teaching your child through playing. How fun is that? Play can actually help your child overcome their obstacles!

Whatever your child is struggling with today, try to think of a way to incorporate a fun at home play activity to address that need. You might do this through toys, role play, arts and crafts, dolls, puppets, cooking, building, gardening- the play activities are endless. If you are having trouble coming up with ideas, talk to your child’s therapist on how you can incorporate meaningful play at home.

Surviving the "Too Scary" in an Over-stimulating World

“Too scary” is a common phrase used in our house. Our children are easy over-stimulated by our over-stimulating world. Some things that are too scary include:

·        Loud noises (unless we are the ones making it J)

Loud toilets- too scary

Loud hand dryers- too scary

Loud music- too scary

Loud talking- too scary

Loud animals- too scary

·        Crowded places- too scary

·        Lots of movement- too scary

·        New places- too scary

·        New people too scary

 

To help our children learn how to adapt, we have put them in structured environments where they are able to work through their fear. For example, we signed our kids up for soccer this year. This to them is very scary. You have several people there including parents and kids. You have people cheering, and a lot of movement. When we first started, our son spent most of his time on the sidelines. He required a long warm-up time where he watched the other kids before he was able to get out there. After a year of soccer, he is doing better.

Yesterday, my sister was able to watch him practice for the first time. My son was so excited to show his Auntie his soccer skills. He ran to the edge of the field and started kicking the ball. She asked, “Why is he kicking over there instead of the field?”  I explained to her his need to warm-up and that he would get to the field once he felt comfortable. Since she hasn’t been to his games before, she didn’t realize how great it was that he was out there. Once he warmed up, he did join his team and even scored three goals!!!

During this journey, I have learned that we might have to do things a little differently than others, but eventually; we will get to where we need to be. When things seem “too scary”, we don’t avoid them, but learn how to work through them, even when it is hard. There are times when working through it looks like the story above where my child needs warm-up time. There are other times when it means that my child needs therapy tools such as chewies, headphones, or weighted blanket. I think it is so important to teach our children not to be avoiders, but learn how to cope, so one day they will be confident individuals.

Adding Another Therapy Hour

Recently, I had two friends whose children got evaluated. After the evaluation both parents were told that their kids did great. Then, they both found out that their children would be adding on more therapy hours. It is heartbreaking to know that your child is doing great and making progress, but needs more therapy. This scenario has happened to both of my children. I remember going to the car afterwards both times in tears thinking one more hour…

Will my child be able to handle one more hour?

That’s one less hour of social time with their friends and one more hour of me hanging out in the waiting room.

Why do we need to do one more hour if my child is doing great and making progress?

We need to budget more money now for therapy.

Aren’t we doing enough therapy?

All my child knows is therapy!

How can I do more?

Don’t they think I am doing enough?

I know that right now is hard. Disappointment is never easy and is harder when it deals with our children. Believe me, I get it. But as therapy parents, we suck it up because we will do anything for our children. We will utilize all of our time, money, and energy on any therapy to continue to see gains.

Adding one more therapy can make a big difference in progress/ gains.

Last year, my son added an extra Physical Therapy hour. His gains this year have been remarkable. At five and a half, he learned how to skip, jump, hop on one foot, and alternate feet while climbing stairs. He learned all of this in one year because we added the extra hour. When we went in for his Kindergarten Readiness Test, he mastered all of his gross motor skills. I firmly believe that he was able to do this because he added that extra therapy hour.

My daughter added an extra hour to speech last year for feeding. She was gagging on food and having trouble with swallowing. In one year (after adding a second therapy hour) she was able to build up the muscles in her mouth which helped her be able to swallow, chew, and suck.  She made so much progress that she tested out!

Even though I was upset about adding that hour in the beginning, both times, it ended up being what my children needed to make rapid progress. I hope our story encourages you through your disappointment. I know it is not easy. It is okay to cry and get frustrated. Here is a hug, friend.

Encouraging Speech in Your Toddler

Today a mom was talking to me about her concerns with her child’s speech. She said, “My daughter only has three words in her vocabulary, and she is almost two. What words should my child be saying? Should I be concerned? Do you think she needs speech?” I told her that I am not a Speech Pathologist (SLP), just a therapy mom, but I could tell her about the experience of my daughter and that maybe would help her.

My daughter started therapy with a speech pathologist after birth, not for speech, but for feeding. At a year, I was concerned about my daughter’s limited vocabulary so I had her tested to see if the SLP needed to work on speech. My daughter did well on the test. Even though she had three words in her vocabulary, the test required one. One thing she struggled with was pointing to objects, but the therapist tracked her eyes and knew she understood what the names of the objects were.

After testing, the therapist told us to work on pointing to objects and increasing her vocabulary. She recommended a program called “Baby Babble” by Talking Child. She also recommended that we start with animal sounds, and showed us an APP called “Peek-a-boo Farm”. When I asked her what words I should be working on, she said just words our family uses daily, such as:

Dad (Dada)

Mom (Mama)

Water (Wawa)

Bottle (Baba) or Milk (Mi)

Dog (Daw)

No

Bye-Bye

All Done (Don don)

Ball (Ba)

Hi or Hello

Uh-oh

That (at)

More

Up

Open

Eat

Food (ood)

Book

Car or beep or vroom

Baby

Bubbles

Pop

 

Poo Poo

Wee 

 She also gave me some awesome strategies to use when working on new vocabulary:

·         speak slower while using names of objects

·         repeat self while modeling (while stacking blocks say “on top” with each block stacked)

·         make learning fun with play (work on animal sounds while playing with a farm set)

·         sing songs

 

When my daughter turned two, I was once again worried about her vocabulary. She didn’t talk very much, and I didn’t think she had many words. Upon testing I learned, she had 22 words and was just starting putting words together, so she didn’t qualify. She was actually right where she needed to be. Since my daughter is shy, I didn’t realize how many words she had. The therapist told me to just keep encouraging her to use her words at home.

Today my daughter is talking up a storm. She just needed a little more time to open up and come out of her shell. If you are worried about your child’s speech, contact a SLP and have your child tested. They might be able to also give you strategies and ideas that are geared towards your baby.

 

Come Play With Me

Today we decided to join some of my son’s classmates on the playground after school. I told my son that he had to stay on the playground and not go to “Mud Mountain” (a huge dirt hill that is now mud from recent construction). I told him Mud Mountain was dangerous since it is from recent construction, and he would get dirty before therapy.

When the other kids got to the playground they all headed for Mud Mountain. They began picking up large sticks to play battle and make a bridge on this large hill. My son called out from the playground, “Come play with me.” His friends yelled back, “Come join us.” My son replied, “I can’t. My mom said it is not safe. Can we play here?”

Not one kid came.

He yelled several times, “Want to play now?” and “Come play here, guys.”

No one even looked at him.

He then went to the bench and started to cry. I told him that I was so proud of him for following the rules. I told him that he is such a good boy. He looked up at me and said, “Why don’t they want to come play with me?” I explained to him that they want to play on Mud Mountain and their moms do not have the same rules. He did not understand this. He asked, “Why don’t we have the same rules? It is not fair.”I tried explaining, but he was getting himself really worked up.

Then, my phone alarm went off reminding me that it was time to go to therapy.

I told him, “That is the alarm”, and he lost it. He threw himself to the ground. Arms flying. Feet kicking. All while yelling, “But I didn’t get to play with any friends.” I told him I was sorry, and I know it is hard, but we have to leave. It is days like this that I wish we had a more open schedule and didn’t have to leave for therapy.

It then got worse. I picked him up in a cradle position (since he wouldn’t stand), and held him close giving him deep pressure as we walked towards the car. I got him strapped in his seat belt. I handed him the ipad to divert his attention and get him to calm down. Then, I got his sister strapped in (who luckily was following close behind me this whole time). Afterwards, I got in, drove to therapy, and just cried.

I cried because it hurts to see your kid hurting. I wish the parents would have encouraged their kids to come to the playground, so no one was left out. I wish the parents would have used it as a teaching moment to encourage children to step up and be a friend to kids who have no one else around.

But, I can’t control the parents or their kids. I can just do me. So once we got to therapy. I asked my son for his ipad. I told him that I gave him his game because he listened on the playground (He followed instructions to stay on the playground when his friends were on Mud Mountain). I told him that I was however disappointed in how he let his sadness control him at the end of play time. Then, we discussed ways to handle situations better when we are sad.

Then he looked at me and said, “I am sorry, mommy. I didn’t mean to.” I know that he meant it. Transitions and handling his emotions is all a work in progress. But, some days, I just wish it was easier, and it didn’t hurt so much.

Echolalia and Social Scripting (Scripting)

There are two types of scripting Echolalia and Social Scripting. Children who script often have: Tourette Syndrome, Schizophrenia, Epilepsy, Autism, Speech Impairment, or are blind.

Echolalia is when a person repeats what another person says without awareness. This might be what someone reads, what someone says on television or movies, what someone sings, or what someone says in conversation. Most children who script do not necessarily know what they are saying, but can repeat large amounts of information. Even though they are talking, when asked a question, the child often has a hard time answering it.

Social scripting is when a person uses common phrases in everyday social settings (such as, Hi! How are you? Talk to you later. It was nice seeing you). For children with special needs social scripting can be difficult and might need to be taught. My son, who has struggled with socialization, attended a social class were they worked on social scripting or phrases to say in social settings. One class they worked on greeting each other and other people with, “Hi! My name is___________. What is your name? Would you like to play? Having key phrases to say when approaching people helps my son be able to interact with other children and eases his anxiety.

I really hate that scripting has a bad rep. Scripting can be useful and used to promote learning and communication. It can also be a way for the child to express themselves and their interest. Some parents do not like scripting because it is often not accepted by the social world. For us, scripting has helped my son learn how to communicate.

Processing Information Causes Hyper-flexing and Shaking

My daughter is tactile defensive. She hates when people touch her. When she was younger, touch would make her hyper-flex her body and freeze. She would also do this when something was painful, like a fall. For a while I was worried that she wouldn’t be able to feel pain. Occupational therapy has really helped her brain’s response to tactile information.

When she started learning to process touch and pain her next reaction was to hyper-flex her body and scream or cry. At this point, if I continued to try to comfort her or touch her, she would scream or cry louder.

Recently, she started something new. When processing touch, pain, or new sensory input, she will hyper-flex her arms or legs, clench her fists, grind her teeth, and shake her shoulders and head. The first time I noticed this, I was very worried. I talked to my daughter’s Occupational Therapist about it and even pointed it out to the OT when my daughter did it in the lobby. The therapist put my mind to ease and said, “Your daughter is learning from different sensory experiences and how to process them.”

This totally made sense. My daughter’s two to three second shake and flexing of her muscles is helping her adapt as she gives herself instant input. I thought I would share to help comfort other parents experiencing this with their child. If your child is doing this and you think it could be more than sensory processing, please see your child’s pediatrician.

Oral Motor Strengthening Exercises

When my daughter was born, she had low tone in her mouth. She wasn’t able to breast feed and struggled with a bottle because she could barely suck. Because she struggled to feed, she was put into the state’s Early Intervention Program and began feeding therapy. Many people ask me what the therapist did to help my daughter be able to gain the strength for everyday feeding skills. She did a couple things: oral motor exercises with her hand, oral motor exercises with therapy tools, and texture incorporation.

The oral motor exercises she did with her hand include:

1.      Taking her index finger and stretching the cheeks by moving her index finger from the top of the mouth to the bottom of the mouth gently stretching the inside of my daughter’s mouth. She did this on both sides slowly ten times each.

2.      Taking her middle finger and index finger, she did teeth compressions. She pushed down on the bottom teeth ten times and pushed up on the top teeth ten times.

3.      Taking both hands she would stretch the outside of the cheeks by starting at the cheek bone and pulling forward until my daughter made a pucker face with her lips. She did this ten times.

4.      Taking her index finger, she would rub in a downward motion the middle part of my daughter’s lip ten times.

The oral motor exercises that she did with a therapy tool (called a critter vibe and sometimes the z-vibe) include gently rubbing the tool around the outside of the face and then the inside of the mouth.

She then incorporated textured objects into the therapy session by giving my daughter several textured teething objects to play with. She would pick them up and rub them around her mouth and encouraged my daughter to do it on her own.

One thing she also encouraged was a pacifier. She said that practice makes perfect and if we could encourage her to suck on the pacifier, over time her suck would get stronger.

At the end of the session the therapist would work with my daughter on eating food. She started with the bottle. At 7 months we began puree food, and a little over a year she started finger foods. My daughter did struggle with gagging while feeding but the therapist just encouraged giving her smaller amounts.

I hope this information might be helpful for others that are on this journey too. If you think your child needs feeding therapy, contact your local Early Intervention Program. A speech therapist can then teach you how to do this at home. Your child will progress more if you and the therapist work together and give the child therapy daily.

“Catch A Brain Wave” with Brain Gym

My son has a Developmental Coordination Disorder. One thing that he struggles with is crossing midline. Last week, I was talking to his Physical Therapist about activities to do at home. She highly recommended, “Catch a Brain Wave”.

“Catch a Brain Wave” is an interactive cd. You listen to the cd, and do the movements as asked. It is a lot of fun. My son loves it. The best part about it is that it is a workout for your brain called Brain Gym.

Doing the Brain Gym activity helps with being focused, organized, and becoming a fast learner. It also helps a child overcome learning difficulties. Overtime the program has been known to improve a child’s communication, learning ability, coordination, and strength.

Each song on the “Catch a Brain Wave” cd incorporates whole body movements that enhance learning. It uses specific movements to facilitate speech, learning, vision, and coordination.  Students are learning better because Brain Gym helps develop and stimulate neural pathways and connections in the brain and sensory system. This allows information to flow effectively to the brain.

We have been doing “Catch a Brain Wave” a couple times a week, and I am already seeing improvement in his gross motor skills as he does the dance moves. Because it is fun, he tries to cross midline and works on his moves. His determination to master the moves helps him get stronger and develop better coordination.

If you have a child that needs to develop strength, coordination, and gross motor skills, I would highly recommend this program. The “Catch a Brain Wave” cd is for ages four to nine. If your child is younger they have two other cd's one cd called “Wiggle Giggle” and the other “Baby Connections”. You can order the from their website: www.braingym.com.au or find a used/ less expensive one on Amazon.