Come Play With Me

Today we decided to join some of my son’s classmates on the playground after school. I told my son that he had to stay on the playground and not go to “Mud Mountain” (a huge dirt hill that is now mud from recent construction). I told him Mud Mountain was dangerous since it is from recent construction, and he would get dirty before therapy.

When the other kids got to the playground they all headed for Mud Mountain. They began picking up large sticks to play battle and make a bridge on this large hill. My son called out from the playground, “Come play with me.” His friends yelled back, “Come join us.” My son replied, “I can’t. My mom said it is not safe. Can we play here?”

Not one kid came.

He yelled several times, “Want to play now?” and “Come play here, guys.”

No one even looked at him.

He then went to the bench and started to cry. I told him that I was so proud of him for following the rules. I told him that he is such a good boy. He looked up at me and said, “Why don’t they want to come play with me?” I explained to him that they want to play on Mud Mountain and their moms do not have the same rules. He did not understand this. He asked, “Why don’t we have the same rules? It is not fair.”I tried explaining, but he was getting himself really worked up.

Then, my phone alarm went off reminding me that it was time to go to therapy.

I told him, “That is the alarm”, and he lost it. He threw himself to the ground. Arms flying. Feet kicking. All while yelling, “But I didn’t get to play with any friends.” I told him I was sorry, and I know it is hard, but we have to leave. It is days like this that I wish we had a more open schedule and didn’t have to leave for therapy.

It then got worse. I picked him up in a cradle position (since he wouldn’t stand), and held him close giving him deep pressure as we walked towards the car. I got him strapped in his seat belt. I handed him the ipad to divert his attention and get him to calm down. Then, I got his sister strapped in (who luckily was following close behind me this whole time). Afterwards, I got in, drove to therapy, and just cried.

I cried because it hurts to see your kid hurting. I wish the parents would have encouraged their kids to come to the playground, so no one was left out. I wish the parents would have used it as a teaching moment to encourage children to step up and be a friend to kids who have no one else around.

But, I can’t control the parents or their kids. I can just do me. So once we got to therapy. I asked my son for his ipad. I told him that I gave him his game because he listened on the playground (He followed instructions to stay on the playground when his friends were on Mud Mountain). I told him that I was however disappointed in how he let his sadness control him at the end of play time. Then, we discussed ways to handle situations better when we are sad.

Then he looked at me and said, “I am sorry, mommy. I didn’t mean to.” I know that he meant it. Transitions and handling his emotions is all a work in progress. But, some days, I just wish it was easier, and it didn’t hurt so much.