Helping Your Child Cope with Transitions and Change

Transitions and change are really difficult for my children. They love routine and the known. Over the past three years, I have come up with some strategies to help them.

1.      Create a visual calendar- Every time we have an upcoming vacation or a big event, we create a family countdown calendar. Every night we talk about what is coming up and put a sticker on the countdown calendar. This helps them feel in control and makes them aware of what is to come.

2.      Create a weekly routine chart- We have a chart up in our kitchen that shows our weekly routine. It has visuals by the words for the kids. On Sunday we look at the upcoming week. If we have something new to add to the week, we will add it on a sticky note and talk about what day it will be on. Then, the kids add the sticky note to the chart. Every morning we review the chart and any new events that were added.

3.      Create a sticker system to reward child for coping with change- My son loves playing with the same toy all day long. To help him change activities during play, I have all of his toys organized in color coded bins. Throughout the day, I will encourage him to pick a new color bin to play with. When he picks a new color, he gets rewarded with a sticker for his sticker chart. Once he gets five stickers, he gets a prize.

4.      Write a social story- My children love bedtime stories. I have created stories to help them with changes that are going on in their life. Recently, my son has had a hard time transitioning into summer. Here is the story I wrote for him:

This week starts summer. During the summer, there is no school for three months. Summer is a fun time to relax, go on vacation, and try new things. This summer I will have afternoon therapy and playtime during the day. During playtime I will get to see friends, swim, and go to fun places. I will have a good time this summer. I will listen to my parents, be nice, and follow the rules. When summer is over, I will go back to school. I will be in a new class and make new friends. It will be a good year.

I put each sentence on a separate page and included basic pictures. He loves this story and wants me to read it right now “all the time”

 

5.       Have a see you soon routine- Saying “see you soon” is very hard. To help ease anxiety during drop off times or times I need to leave my children with a babysitter, I created a “see you soon” routine. Before the “see you soon” time occurs, we spend a lot of time talking about what is going to happen. I also encourage them to ask questions or express any fears, so we can work through them. When the time actually comes to say” see you soon”, I allow them to give a quick three second hug where we count quietly to three, and then let go. Having this routine has really helped ease the stress of transitions.

These five ideas have really helped us when battling change and transitions. However, I have found that my tone and attitude really make a difference with these strategies too. If I get upset or nervous because they are having a hard time, it fuels their anxiety and fear and makes it worse. The more excited and happy I am about the change, the better my children tend to be. So, my biggest piece of advice is try to relax, even when it is hard, and with a gentle voice and smile help them conquered their fear.