Thoughts about Labeling Children

When I was 8 years old, I was diagnosed with ADHD and Dyslexia. It seems like once I was diagnosed everyone knew, and I was stuck with a label. I hated having that label. I hated being pulled out of class for resource reading and getting modifications and accommodations because I wanted to be like everyone else. Because of my history with being labeled, I struggled with having my children labeled also. Part of me wanted a diagnosis, so I could know all about the disorder and better help my children. The other part of me just wanted to treat the symptoms and not worry about a label.

After going back and forth on this for a while, I talked to our therapist, and decided to wait until the age of three, so we could get a reliable diagnosis. After getting a diagnosis, the only changed was a label.  His treatment stayed the same because they continued to treat his symptoms.

Many people now will ask me if all the testing was worth it to get a label since the treatment didn’t change. My answer is yes, although I rarely use his label because I don’t want him to feel defined by it. Instead of using his label, I usually tell people ways they can help him be successful; however, every once in a while, to get the services we need, we have to use it along with all of our testing documentation.

Last month we came upon this very issue, but with my daughter. Like my son, they think she also has SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder), but she is not of age for a diagnosis. She is low registry and doesn’t let you know when she is hurt. She will be bleeding and not shed a tear. At church three weeks ago, another little girl scratched her several times and my daughter, even though she was bleeding and hurt, never cried. Because she didn’t cry or make a noise, the teachers didn’t know it happened until they saw scratches all over her. When talking to the church about my disappointment, they told me that they were never aware that my child had special needs because I didn’t indicate a diagnosis or more information on my child care form. I told them that we do not have a diagnosis, and we are in the process of figuring this entire thing out. I also told the director that even though I didn’t write a diagnosis or extra information on the form, I did talk to my daughter’s teachers about her needs. At the end of our conversation, I learned that I should have just put something down on the paper. It could have helped them watch her more carefully and made them more aware of my child’s needs.

If your child doesn’t have a label like my daughter, it is okay. Most people do not understand labels anyways. What they really want is for you to describe the child’s behavior or learning problem and tell them what they can do to help. I learned from the incident above to always write down my children’s needs. They are not defined by their needs, but people do need to know how to best help them whether they have a label or not.