Taking a Time-out Under Tables

I am the queen of manners. Growing up my mother was very firm about all of us having good manners. She even sent me to an etiquette school to learn manners. The first time my children crawled under the table at a restaurant, she was shocked that I wasn’t firm about teaching my children that was not the way to act. She had no idea that at one point I did try to teach them to stay in their seat.

So why did I give in?

I didn’t. I became aware.

My children were not crawling under the table to play or disobey. They were crawling under the table to ESCAPE and feel safe. I started noticing the times when they crawled under the table, several people were in the room, the noise level was loud, and there was a lot going on. They were in sensory overload. They crawl under the table to reorganize themselves until they felt safe.

As a mom, I always want my kids to feel comfortable and safe. How could I punish them or make them sit in an environment where they did not feel safe? Once I became aware of their needs, I allowed my kids to take a time out under the table when needed for sensory overload.

I know that it isn’t proper, but having the opportunity to take a time out is needed for my kids. We also started doing the following to help our kids with over-stimulation:

·        Go out during the off hours

·        Schedule with small familiar groups of people

·        Get a corner booth table in the back

·         Bring calming activities, headphones, and chewy sticks to help with anxiety

·        Bring blanket, coat, or hoodie that child can use for a time-out instead of crawling under the table

Sometimes as a special needs parent you have to take a step back and view things out of a different lens. One thing this journey has taught me is that things are not always what they seem to be. The child under the table is not defiant, but just in need of a break.