Potty Training: Trouble with Poop

My son was potty trained at 2. Even though he hates wiping due to textures of the toilet paper, we never had a problem with going poop in the potty. With my daughter, it is a different story. My daughter has been potty training for six months. She will pee in the potty, as well as, tell me when she has to pee (she rarely has pee accidents). She will not tell me when she has to poop, so she still poops in her diaper.

This week she actually had her first poop in the potty after I did a lot of reading on our poop problem. I found out that the best time to put your child on the potty to poop is 10 to 15 minutes after a meal, after waking up, and before going to bed. When I put her on the potty at these times, we actually did poop in the potty.

Putting her on the potty during the times above and having her practice pooping in the potty helps her learn the feeling of needing to poop which is different from the feeling of when you need to pee.

When she is on the potty, I have learned to not cheer or give her any attention. My son loved this. My daughter hates it. Cheering and giving her attention (such as talking to her at this time) actually keeps her from going potty. It also makes her very nervous. I am guessing that is part of her sensory defensiveness. She wants me to stand back and give her space. There have been times that she even wants me to wait behind the door. I always listen and respect her privacy (even though I leave a very large crack to make sure she is okay).

If you are also having trouble with your child pooping, here is what I am trying. These ideas have worked with my mom friends:

·         put your child on the potty to poop 10 to 15 minutes after a meal, after waking up, and before going to bed

·         create an incentive (if not cheering, maybe a candy or sticker)

·         respect space/ privacy

·         make a potty basket with books or fidgets for them to hold and look at while on the potty (so they will stay on the potty)

·         tell the poop or pee bye- bye and warn child of flushing, so they will not get upset by the noise

·         create a potty routine poster to practice activities of daily living (pull down pants, sit on potty, wipe, flush, pull up pants, and wash hands)

If you had success with getting your non- pooper to poop and have other suggestions, I am always open to ideas! We are all on this journey togetherJ

Constantly Holding and Carrying My Children

My kids are 2 1/2 and 5 and their favorite thing to say is “hold me”. I absolutely love holding my children. I know they will not be little forever, but I do not want to create children who are dependent on me. I want them to be independent.

Both of my children have SPD and that makes them crave being held.

·         My son wants to be held when he is over-stimulated and anxious (Over-stimulated means that he is taking in too much at a time). It usually happens for him in crowded places where there is a lot of movement or noise

·         My daughter wants to be held when she is struggling with sensory defensiveness. Sensory defensiveness is a negative reaction to touch, smell, taste or sound. She absolutely dislikes people touching her or even looking at her. She wants to be held in crowds, so people are less likely to touch and interact with her. Being held makes her feel safe since crowds also produce a lot of noise.

Carrying my children also gives my two children (who have decreased core strength) the opportunity to take a break from walking since they both tire easily doing physical activity.

The problem is that I can’t hold both kids at the same time, and I want to increase their independence. So what do I do?

1.      We go to therapy. PT helps strengthen their muscles and OT helps with their sensory needs

2.      I encourage them to walk as much as they can, and I do activities at home to improve their strength

3.      I try to meet their sensory need with special needs tools (head phones, chewy tube, compression vest ) or remove them from the over-stimulating place

BUT sometimes I honestly just carry them. I realize how much carrying my kids helps calm them and meet their sensory need. Carrying them gives them deep pressure which in return regulates their system.  Once the need is met and they feel safe, they can independently function.  

Trying to find a good balance between teaching independence, helping your child work through it, and meeting their needs is rough. But I hang in there because each day, each month, each year, it gets a little easier. They will not want to be held and carried forever.

Lining Items Up

When playing, my son likes to line his toys in a row. He will make a straight line of blocks or he will line up his money. He likes everything to be in order. But, when he does this, what is he really trying to tell me? According to Angie Voss, OTR and writer of Understanding My Child’s Sensory Signals, my son is trying to get a sense of control and organization. His brain is taking in too much sensory input. His visual system is trying to organize and regulate.

So how do I help my child work through this? I allow my son to line things up but I try to incorporate appropriate play and interaction in what he is doing. If he lines up his money, I will have us walk down his money line counting his money. If he lines up his blocks, I will get out a car and tell him, let’s pretend this is a road.

Also, since I know that he is trying to organize and regulate, I will heavy work and movement. I will tie this into the appropriate play that I mentioned above.

Last since it is his visual system that needs stimulation, I will encourage him to do a visual stimulating activity, such as:

·        playing with a top, spinning light globe, lite brite or kaleidoscope

·        viewing a lava lamp, mobile, projector, bubble tube,  or aquarium  

I hope these ideas help you understand what your child is feeling and how to help him or her. I also highly recommend the book, Understanding My Child’s Sensory Signals.

Coping with Sounds

My children have a hard time coping with sound. When a room is noisy, my daughter is very clingy and my son hides and covers his ears. Sometimes my daughter will also cover her ears and yell, “Too loud”. The interesting thing is that sometimes they also crave loud things, of course, on their terms. When they are craving noise, they will bang instruments, make loud noises, or blast the radio. It is one extreme or the other. So how do we as a family cope with sound?

1.     We carry noise reduction head phones or ear plugs

 

2.     We have a safe retreat spot for a quiet and calm atmosphere. (This might be a special corner of the house or classroom that has pillows or a tent. It also might be as simple as dividers around the child’s desk or space.)

 

3.     We add curtains to rooms for sound catchers

 

4.     We practice deep breathing and talking through it

 

5.     We created a sound box for times when child is seeking noise

I hope these ideas help your child cope with sounds as well. If you have more ideas, let me know.

Brain Highways Helps A Disorganized Brain

When your child is struggling with learning, focus, behavior, and social skills, it is important to understand the root of the behavior. The behavior comes from what experts call a “disorganized brain”. A disorganized brain happens when a child didn’t retain primitive reflexes, so it didn’t complete the development of the lower brain. Because the lower centers of the brain are underdeveloped, it is constantly at war with the higher centers of the brain. The high centers of the brain are then regularly trying to compensate for brain functions that are not automatic. The high centers of the brain then become exhausted from compensating so it cannot properly do its job to learn, focus, behave, and socialize. People with a disorganized brain tend to:

·        Have poor organization

·        Lack focus

·        Get frustrated

·        Have panic attacks and anxiety

·        Show aggressive behavior or withdrawn behavior

·        Have poor socialization skills

·        Insomnia or oversleeping

·        High tolerance of pain

·        Show signs of self injury behavior

·        Dislikes school

·        Has trouble reading/ writing

 

·        Has trouble comprehending and retaining

·        Has messy work

·        Has trouble with eating ( doesn’t want to eat or doesn’t know when full)

Brain Highways is an educational program. It has been developed to improve learning, focus, and behavior through organizing a person’s brain. The program organizes the brain by through various activities. Some of these activities include:

·        Wake Up the Brain: movement activities (swinging, spinning, balancing, crashing, pulling, pushing, crawling, scooting

 

·        Inhibit Primitive Reflexes: extending, bending, stretching

 

·        Develop Lower Centers of the Brain

 

·        Stimulate the Senses: sensory play with various textures, tastes, smells, lights, sounds

 

Brain Highways also provides weekly multimedia education and ideas for parents through audio and video clips and handouts. Some of the education includes positive behavior approaches.

Brain Highways’ program has been known to help people with ADD/ADHD, Sensory Processing, Autism, Eating Disorders, Behavior disorders, and Learning Disorders. It is a great program to look into if you or your child struggle with a disorganized brain.

Great Therapists

In the past three and a half years of therapy, we have had eighteen therapists work with my children. Out of those eighteen, I think very highly of seven. Today I was thinking about what sets those seven above the others. Here is what I came up with:

1.     The therapist conducts an evaluation of your child with more than one standardized test

2.     The therapist helps you understand the evaluation and discusses an action plan with goals

3.     The therapist monitors your child’s goals and gives you progress reports

4.     The therapist trains you and tells you what you can do at home

5.     The therapist listens to you, answers your questions, and helps you problem solve

6.     The therapist is available and reliable to provide treatment

7.     The therapist uses play in therapy

8.     The therapist is liked by your child
 

9.   The therapist is experienced and knowledgeable in their field
 

10.  The therapist’s personality is understanding and nurturing

Several times a week, I drive an hour round trip to our therapy clinic because I believe it has the best therapists in our area. Once you find a great therapist, no drive is too far for your child.

Having an “It’s Possible” Attitude

In the beginning of our journey, I was overwhelmed with emotions. I didn’t know how we were going to get through it. I didn’t understand why this was happening to my child. For a year, my child was developing and progressing ahead of the norm, why did the regression occur? I could have got myself in a rut of why’s, play the blame game, or make excuses. It is easy to say:

·        The therapist will address this

·        My child will grow out of it

·        I don’t know how to help my child

·        Why can’t my child _______________

·        Will my child ever be able to ____________

·        It’s too early to work on _______________

·        I don’t have time to do ____________

It is harder to step up and take action. After coming to terms with where we were at, I decided to approach it head on with an “It’s Possible” attitude.  I started thinking, “It is possible for my child to ______________ , if I tap into my resources and form a plan."

I first reached out to all of my resources. I talked to the developmental pediatrician, therapist, and family doctor to come up with realistic goals (both short and long term). I knew that the best approach to helping my child was to work as a team with the professionals.

Next, my husband and I then sat down and came up with a plan of what we were going to do at home to help our child reach the goals. We also went to training to get help from the professionals on how we could help our child.

Last, we monitored the goals and changed our plan when needed so that our child would feel successful. Some days we did have to take some steps back so our child wasn’t working on a frustration level. I believe that on those days re-evaluation is essential for constant progress.

Throughout the years I have kept our goals and progress notes. Every once in a while (especially on a hard day), I will look back at them and see how far we have come. It helps me remember that our goals are possible when we work as a team with the professionals, set up a plan, and monitor/ re- evaluate/ change our plan when needed.