Special Needs at Church (During Sunday Service)

Church for a lot of people is a place of peace. For our family, church has been a struggle. I never noticed how over-stimulating church can be until I had a child with special needs. In church, you have different lighting in different areas, loud music, different smells (incense), people wanting to touch you/ shake your hand/ hug you, and close seating in a large group setting. For my children, it was too much. For a year, we were at a large church with over a thousand members coming in every Sunday. It was so overwhelming that we never were able to make it through the sanctuary doors. We sat in the lobby area with speakers to listen to the service. We were glad that the church made this accommodation for us.

Six months ago, we decided to change to a smaller church. Our church now averages about 300 people every Sunday service. Before switching churches, we prepared the kids by going to the church to visit and look around on a non-Sunday. We also did role play activities practicing how to act at church. Now, our children are actually sitting inside the sanctuary of our new church. We always sit towards the back, and on the end, so they do not feel crowded by other people.

If you are struggling at church with your special needs child, here are some things that might help:

1.      If your child doesn’t feel comfortable in the sanctuary, see if the church will allow you to listen from a special room or lobby area with speakers.

2.      If your child is able to go into the sanctuary, try sitting in the corner or in the back on the end.

3.      If your child gets upset by the sounds, bring headphones.

4.      If your child is nervous by the crowds, bring a blanket or hoodie jacket so that they can hide in it to feel safe.

5.      If your child is unable to be still, bring a fidget toy for them to interact with.

6.      If your child is nervous, try role playing and reading books about going to church.

I hope these suggestions help your family have a more peaceful time at church. I know how hard it can be. At one point, I wanted to give up and just watch church on television, but then, I was missing out on the fellowship of church. If you can, go to a smaller church setting, it made a huge difference for us. Some churches even have special programs for special needs kids and offer child care. That might be another option for you. I am so glad that church for us is now a place of peace again. Don’t get me wrong, there are some hard days, but our main struggles are now behind us.