The Importance of Routine (For A Child With Anxiety)

All children need structure, a set of routines that make them feel safe. Structure helps take away the fear of the unknown. When you have a child that suffers from anxiety, structure is a must.

My son requires extreme structure. He needs his days mapped out for him. He has a visual calendar of his activities, as well as, a visual weekly calendar describing each day’s routines/ activities. As long as we are following his schedule and he knows what is next, his anxiety is at rest. When a new scheduled activity pops up on the calendar or things change, my son becomes extremely anxious to the point where it is hard for him to function.

This week, we had our beautiful routine destroyed by three snow days. Most kids are excited having a snow day (where they miss school). My son was not. He was very upset that we were not following the calendar and going to school. I tried my best to make his day similar to his regular day by having him do school activities at the kitchen table during school time. This seemed to help, but he was still thrown off during these days.

To add to it, on Wednesday (another snow day), we had Ash Wednesday church services. Even though it was on the calendar, he was upset that we were going to church on Wednesday because church is on Sunday. I tried to explain and reason with him, but he was not having it. He cried all the way to church. Once inside, he hid under his coat for most of the service. Then, he screamed during the time of ashes. The Decan was really sweet to him and said,”It is okay, you don’t have to get them. God bless you.” I was thankful for his response.

On days where we have change or our schedule is different, I will try to help my son by:

·         Putting it on the calendar, so he visually sees the change or new event (sometimes we even do a countdown to the new event)

·         Talk about the change or event

·         Watch videos or read books about the event to ease anxiety

Sometimes these three things help and sometimes they don’t. When they don’t, I just try to encourage deep breathing. I provide a retreat area (even if it is hiding under a coat or blanket).  I also give him deep pressure.

Once the snow days were over, and we got back into his normal routine, my son again flourished. His therapists said he had the best sessions that he has had in a long time. He was very focused and happy. My son is very happy to be back to his daily routines, and I am too!