They Tried a New Food

I have a huge confession to make…when it comes to eating, I cater to my kids. For five years, we have been eating things that I know they will eat and like because I hate to see them not eat, gag, spit food out, or even throw-up. I have left the new food trying to the therapist, and at home, give them the non-preferred food only after the therapist has worked on it, and they are comfortable with it.

In three years, my son has gone from having five foods in his diet to being able to eat almost anything that is seasoned only with salt. My daughter still has a limited diet, but it is expanding. This is all due to the amazing therapists that work with them.

When my husband said he wanted to change our family diet in 2015, I got REALLY nervous. I want to live a healthier lifestyle, but I do not want to end up cooking several meals. I also wasn’t too sure about having the kids try new foods at home. But, like my husband, I have been ready for a change.

We decided to try it just for ten days. We pre-made freezer meat and veggie meals for the crock pot. This would make meal time easier on me, and we would be eating healthy.

Last night when I got the food out, I separated the meat and veggies on the kid’s plates, so they were not touching. I also made macaroni and cheese for the children, so they would have a familiar item on their plate.

Both of them ate the macaroni and cheese first, but then they tried the chicken (with sauce on it)! My son said it was yucky, but he tried it. My daughter took four bites! THIS IS HUGE! Hopefully, the next nine days go as smooth as last night.

 

Giving Medicine to Your Tactile Defensive Child

When my daughter gets sick, it is a nightmare starting with the doctor visit. Tactile defensive children do not like to be touched. So, the exam is really difficult. When she is not feeling well, it is even more difficult. To ease he anxiety, we bring her doll, so the doctor can show her and tell her what he is going to do before he touches her. Sometimes this helps. After the doctor visit, comes the real challenge- giving my tactile defensive/ feeding disorder child medicine.

When giving her liquid medicine, she gags and throws up. I have tried putting a candy on top (which she picks up and eats and refuses the medicine). I have tried holding her down and giving it is small amounts (which she spits out). I have tried mixing it with food (but then she doesn’t finish all of the food).

After getting some suggestions, here are things that worked for us:

1.     Chewable tablets - She thinks they are candy

2.     Non- flavored medicine- We mixed it with a small amount of juice (she loves juice so she drank it all). If the medicine is flavored Rootbeer helps mask the taste.

3.     Suppositories-  put in with a bit of Vaseline to make it more comfortable

Our biggest challenge came today when she woke up with conjunctivitis, and now requires eye drops and ointment. The only way to give her this medicine is with two people. My husband has to hold her down while I clean her eyes, put in drops, and rub on the ointment. Once we let her go, she rubs the ointment off while screaming. We then immediately wash her hands and hope she is getting some of the medicine that she rubs off.

On hard days like this, I remind myself that this too shall pass. I enjoy the extra snuggle time that I get, and pray for quick healing.

Chasing Normal

In my blog post “The Heartache of Comparison”, I discuss how I have a hard time with constantly comparing my child with other children his age. It is hard watching your child struggle. I work so hard trying to give my child every tool (therapy supplies) and support (OT, PT, ST, Equine Therapy, Social Group) to decrease the gap. I hope he will learn coping mechanisms, so one day he doesn’t struggle and hits all of milestones at the same time as other children his age. But, what I have come to find out is that chasing normal (or what I prefer to call ‘typical”) tends to cause heartache and sometimes even envy.

 

“Chasing "normal" will cause you to lose sleep at night, will destroy your marriage, will drive a wedge between your relationships with family members, and will cause you to resent and eventually grow distant from your friends. “-Tameika

 

I don’t want to be one who chases normal. I want to let it go. Because, no matter how close to normal we are, it doesn’t make me love my child any more or less.

When I really think about it, my greatest desire is for my child to be happy. So instead of chasing normal and focusing on everything we need to do to get there, I am going to do something different this next year. I am going focus on how amazing my child is right now.

Right now I am going to celebrate everything about him: his thoughts, feelings, interests, and interactions. I am going to praise his great choices. I will encourage his gentle and loving spirit. I will rejoice in his progress and accomplishments.

I will stop looking around me and look right in front of me at the blessing I have been given because he is pretty incredible. I am one lucky momma.

The Life of a Therapy Mom

After school every day, my son and two of his classmates hang out on this poor tree that is barely big enough to hold the three of them. I watch them talk and laugh. I sit there thanking God for my son having friends. It wasn’t long ago that he struggled with making friend and connecting to others.

The other moms and I give countdown warnings to the last minute, and then it happens…talk about extending their time together. “Hey, would your kids like to go get ice cream?” one mom says. “Yes, we would love to, but we can’t we have therapy,” I always reply.

Then, I get to load a screaming child into the car who is upset that he doesn’t get to go. I don’t tell him that I secretly wish for ice cream too.

It takes 30 to 40 minutes for us to get to therapy. Once we are there, a therapist comes to take my child to the back. I know how important every second of his session is, so I always pray for a smooth transition.  In her hand, she holds all of my hopes and dreams of progress to come.

While my child is in therapy, I spend two to three hours in the waiting room. During that time, I will sometimes read, talk to other therapy moms, run a quick errand, or chat with the office staff. My husband often laughs that I call the office staff “my friends”, but they are honestly the people that I talk to most during my week.

Many people ask why I do not go home or do something for me during this time. I do not have time to go home since it is a 30 to 40 minute drive, and I have two children in therapy coming and going from their sessions at different times. Usually one of them will spend one of those two to three therapy hours with me in the waiting room. This is why I always carry a large backpack with snacks, toys, diapers, wipes, changes of clothes, and therapy supplies.

After therapy, I spend time talking to the therapist about the session, and what to continue at home. I share any struggles/ fears and get suggestions. I also try to always express my gratitude for the amazing things they are doing.

When we get home, I begin to cook dinner and the kids have some playtime. We then eat, do homework, and therapy activities before we get ready for bed.

On really special days, magic will happen, and I will see a glimpse of progress. Like the other day when my son skipped for the first time around the kitchen as I cooked. He gleamed with joy and was so proud of mastering this skill after two years of working on it. It is moments like these that make every second worth it.

Worth every therapy bill.

Worth every hour of therapy.

Worth time away from the typical life.

And in those moments, I see hope of one day replying to that mom, “Sure! We can go get ice cream.”

Fun Sensory Christmas Activities

With two whole weeks off of school and several days off of therapy, I scheduled activities to do during the day. Since Christmas is near, I planned my activities with a Christmas theme. I wanted to make sure that my activities were sensory based (so my children got sensory input) and helped develop their gross motor skills. Here are the activities that will engage a child’s senses (touch, taste, sight, smell, and hear):

Touch – “Santa’s White Soft Beard”

Supplies: picture of Santa’s face, crayons, glue, scissors, cotton balls, and paper plate

We printed out a picture of Santa’s face, cut it out, and glue it to a paper plate. We then glued cotton balls over Santa’s beard and mustache. After gluing, my children colored Santa’s hat, eyes, face, nose, and mouth. (extension: my kids turned their Santa faces into masks by adding string)

 

Taste-“Build a snowman”

Supplies: Three large marshmallows, four pretzels sticks, and tube of chocolate icing

Stack three large marshmallows on top of each other and push a pretzel stick through their center. Then break the other three pretzels in half and use them to make arms, legs, and a nose (you will have ½ of one left to eat). Then, use the chocolate tube icing to draw a face and buttons.

 

Sight- “Sensory Bubble Bottle”

Supplies: empty water bottle (label taken off), 1 1/2 cups of water, a squirt of dish detergent, 3 drops of red or green food coloring, and a tube of glitter (or a bottle of glitter glue)

First, put the glitter into the bottle, and add 1 ½ cups of water. Next, add a squirt of dawn dish detergent and three drops of food coloring. Shake to watch the bubbles and glitter move around.

Smell- “Christmas Potpourri”

Supplies: 1 orange, 1 lemon, 3 cinnamon sticks, ½ cup of cranberries, 2 tablespoons of cloves, and 4 cups of water

Quarter the lemon and the orange. Then, add all ingredients into a stovetop pot. Next, heat mixture until it boils, and then reduce temperature to low. Fragrance will soon fill the air. Add water when needed.

 

Hear – “Jingle Stick”

Supplies:  8 to 10 inch stick from the yard, red/white/ green yarn, and two bells.

Tie the string to the bottom of the stick. Wrap the yarn around stick until you get to the top. Sting and tie two bells onto the end. Cut off remaining yarn. Enjoy jingling the bells while singing Christmas songs!

 

I hope you enjoy these activities as much as we did!

A Successful Picture with Santa

For four years we have struggled with a successful Santa picture. Our Santa pictures have consisted of fleeing screaming children. Many people have asked me what was different this time. It made me evaluate and come up with a list of the four P’s for a successful visit with Santa:

1.     Prepare- One scary thing about Santa is that kids only see him once a year. To get my kids ready for Santa we had to prepare. The second stores started decorating for Christmas, I began pointing Santa out to my children and talking about Santa. We watched shows about Santa, and even did a Santa craft gluing cotton balls on paper to make his beard.

2.     Practice- Before we had our successful visit with Santa, we practiced visiting with him. We went on a Polar Express Ride with Santa. We ate breakfast with Santa. We visited Santa at the library during story time. Each time I allowed my children to get use to Santa’s presence. I did not force them to go near him. I did talk to them and encouraged them to say hi or shake his hand.

3.     Plan- Create a plan for picture day with Santa. On that day, scheduling is everything. I made sure my kids were well rested and fed. Because being hungry and tired, makes a great mix of crazy. I also planned a specific place for private pictures. My children do not do well in crowds. Crowds add to anxiety and sensory overload. I wanted to create the most calming environment, so my children would feel safe enough to sit on Santa’s lap. Ask around and find out where your child can meet Santa in a private setting.

4.     Participate- Allow your child to participate in the decisions for picture day by allowing them to pick out their outfit, so they feel comfortable. Both of my kids had choices to make the day of pictures. Also, allow them to participate in picking out something they prepared for Santa. I notice that our Santa gifts helped break the nervous tension of the “meeting moment”.

Next year will be the true test to see if we can have another successful Santa visit. But for right now, I am going to frame our perfect Santa picture and call this year a “win”!

Avoiding Meltdowns During the Holidays

The holidays bring with it joy and excitement, but for some special needs children it can be a little much. The crowds, noise, unfamiliar faces, and lights can make the child over-stimulated and cause a meltdown. Here are some tips to help avoid meltdowns during the holidays:

1.     Try to maintain your normal schedule – The more you stick to your schedule the more the child will feel safe. If you are traveling or have guests over, try to maintain your normal routines for eating, naps, and bedtime.

 

2.     Prepare- Before going on a trip or to an important event, prepare your child.

·        Read social stories, so the child will know what is expected

·        Look at pictures

·        Create a holiday calendar with special events, so child is aware of what is coming next

·        Watch videos or shows about what you are going to do

 

3.     Let them assist with changes- One big change during the holidays is the new decorations and parties. Allow your child to help with decorating. Also, make a craft or a food for events, so they feel like they are contributing to the change.

 

4.     Avoid large crowds if possible- Large crowds can be noisy with a lot of movement. To avoid large crowds, we go to events as early as possible to help us avoid long lines. Look into events in your town to see if there are smaller/ private activities for special needs children. Our town has a “Photos with Santa” event for special needs children, so they can see Santa in a small private setting.

 

5.     Respect child’s needs and know their limitations- if your child is starting to feel overwhelmed or over-stimulated, let them know that feeling is okay. They can tell you, and you will remove them from the environment. If your child is unable to communicate with you, know their signals and limitations.  

 

6.     Have a therapy backpack- Sometimes your child doesn’t need to be removed from the over-stimulating environment; sometimes they just need tools to help calm their anxious heart. In our bag, we have sour items, crunch items, chewy sticks, critter vibes, weighted animal, and compression vest.

 

7.     Inform guests or host ahead of time- Before an event talk to your guests or the host about your child’s limitations. Let them know if your child doesn’t like to be touched or needs the music at a lower volume level. This will help everyone enjoy the event.

 

8.     Dress your child comfortably- If your child struggles with tags or lace, avoid these items. Dress your child so they feel comfortable. You might want to put a compression shirt under their clothing to help give them deep pressure and lower their stress.

 

The holiday season does not have to be stressful and with chaotic meltdowns. With careful planning and watching your child’s signals, everyone can have fun during this holiday.

Potty Training: Trouble with Poop

My son was potty trained at 2. Even though he hates wiping due to textures of the toilet paper, we never had a problem with going poop in the potty. With my daughter, it is a different story. My daughter has been potty training for six months. She will pee in the potty, as well as, tell me when she has to pee (she rarely has pee accidents). She will not tell me when she has to poop, so she still poops in her diaper.

This week she actually had her first poop in the potty after I did a lot of reading on our poop problem. I found out that the best time to put your child on the potty to poop is 10 to 15 minutes after a meal, after waking up, and before going to bed. When I put her on the potty at these times, we actually did poop in the potty.

Putting her on the potty during the times above and having her practice pooping in the potty helps her learn the feeling of needing to poop which is different from the feeling of when you need to pee.

When she is on the potty, I have learned to not cheer or give her any attention. My son loved this. My daughter hates it. Cheering and giving her attention (such as talking to her at this time) actually keeps her from going potty. It also makes her very nervous. I am guessing that is part of her sensory defensiveness. She wants me to stand back and give her space. There have been times that she even wants me to wait behind the door. I always listen and respect her privacy (even though I leave a very large crack to make sure she is okay).

If you are also having trouble with your child pooping, here is what I am trying. These ideas have worked with my mom friends:

·         put your child on the potty to poop 10 to 15 minutes after a meal, after waking up, and before going to bed

·         create an incentive (if not cheering, maybe a candy or sticker)

·         respect space/ privacy

·         make a potty basket with books or fidgets for them to hold and look at while on the potty (so they will stay on the potty)

·         tell the poop or pee bye- bye and warn child of flushing, so they will not get upset by the noise

·         create a potty routine poster to practice activities of daily living (pull down pants, sit on potty, wipe, flush, pull up pants, and wash hands)

If you had success with getting your non- pooper to poop and have other suggestions, I am always open to ideas! We are all on this journey togetherJ

Constantly Holding and Carrying My Children

My kids are 2 1/2 and 5 and their favorite thing to say is “hold me”. I absolutely love holding my children. I know they will not be little forever, but I do not want to create children who are dependent on me. I want them to be independent.

Both of my children have SPD and that makes them crave being held.

·         My son wants to be held when he is over-stimulated and anxious (Over-stimulated means that he is taking in too much at a time). It usually happens for him in crowded places where there is a lot of movement or noise

·         My daughter wants to be held when she is struggling with sensory defensiveness. Sensory defensiveness is a negative reaction to touch, smell, taste or sound. She absolutely dislikes people touching her or even looking at her. She wants to be held in crowds, so people are less likely to touch and interact with her. Being held makes her feel safe since crowds also produce a lot of noise.

Carrying my children also gives my two children (who have decreased core strength) the opportunity to take a break from walking since they both tire easily doing physical activity.

The problem is that I can’t hold both kids at the same time, and I want to increase their independence. So what do I do?

1.      We go to therapy. PT helps strengthen their muscles and OT helps with their sensory needs

2.      I encourage them to walk as much as they can, and I do activities at home to improve their strength

3.      I try to meet their sensory need with special needs tools (head phones, chewy tube, compression vest ) or remove them from the over-stimulating place

BUT sometimes I honestly just carry them. I realize how much carrying my kids helps calm them and meet their sensory need. Carrying them gives them deep pressure which in return regulates their system.  Once the need is met and they feel safe, they can independently function.  

Trying to find a good balance between teaching independence, helping your child work through it, and meeting their needs is rough. But I hang in there because each day, each month, each year, it gets a little easier. They will not want to be held and carried forever.

Lining Items Up

When playing, my son likes to line his toys in a row. He will make a straight line of blocks or he will line up his money. He likes everything to be in order. But, when he does this, what is he really trying to tell me? According to Angie Voss, OTR and writer of Understanding My Child’s Sensory Signals, my son is trying to get a sense of control and organization. His brain is taking in too much sensory input. His visual system is trying to organize and regulate.

So how do I help my child work through this? I allow my son to line things up but I try to incorporate appropriate play and interaction in what he is doing. If he lines up his money, I will have us walk down his money line counting his money. If he lines up his blocks, I will get out a car and tell him, let’s pretend this is a road.

Also, since I know that he is trying to organize and regulate, I will heavy work and movement. I will tie this into the appropriate play that I mentioned above.

Last since it is his visual system that needs stimulation, I will encourage him to do a visual stimulating activity, such as:

·        playing with a top, spinning light globe, lite brite or kaleidoscope

·        viewing a lava lamp, mobile, projector, bubble tube,  or aquarium  

I hope these ideas help you understand what your child is feeling and how to help him or her. I also highly recommend the book, Understanding My Child’s Sensory Signals.

Coping with Sounds

My children have a hard time coping with sound. When a room is noisy, my daughter is very clingy and my son hides and covers his ears. Sometimes my daughter will also cover her ears and yell, “Too loud”. The interesting thing is that sometimes they also crave loud things, of course, on their terms. When they are craving noise, they will bang instruments, make loud noises, or blast the radio. It is one extreme or the other. So how do we as a family cope with sound?

1.     We carry noise reduction head phones or ear plugs

 

2.     We have a safe retreat spot for a quiet and calm atmosphere. (This might be a special corner of the house or classroom that has pillows or a tent. It also might be as simple as dividers around the child’s desk or space.)

 

3.     We add curtains to rooms for sound catchers

 

4.     We practice deep breathing and talking through it

 

5.     We created a sound box for times when child is seeking noise

I hope these ideas help your child cope with sounds as well. If you have more ideas, let me know.

Brain Highways Helps A Disorganized Brain

When your child is struggling with learning, focus, behavior, and social skills, it is important to understand the root of the behavior. The behavior comes from what experts call a “disorganized brain”. A disorganized brain happens when a child didn’t retain primitive reflexes, so it didn’t complete the development of the lower brain. Because the lower centers of the brain are underdeveloped, it is constantly at war with the higher centers of the brain. The high centers of the brain are then regularly trying to compensate for brain functions that are not automatic. The high centers of the brain then become exhausted from compensating so it cannot properly do its job to learn, focus, behave, and socialize. People with a disorganized brain tend to:

·        Have poor organization

·        Lack focus

·        Get frustrated

·        Have panic attacks and anxiety

·        Show aggressive behavior or withdrawn behavior

·        Have poor socialization skills

·        Insomnia or oversleeping

·        High tolerance of pain

·        Show signs of self injury behavior

·        Dislikes school

·        Has trouble reading/ writing

 

·        Has trouble comprehending and retaining

·        Has messy work

·        Has trouble with eating ( doesn’t want to eat or doesn’t know when full)

Brain Highways is an educational program. It has been developed to improve learning, focus, and behavior through organizing a person’s brain. The program organizes the brain by through various activities. Some of these activities include:

·        Wake Up the Brain: movement activities (swinging, spinning, balancing, crashing, pulling, pushing, crawling, scooting

 

·        Inhibit Primitive Reflexes: extending, bending, stretching

 

·        Develop Lower Centers of the Brain

 

·        Stimulate the Senses: sensory play with various textures, tastes, smells, lights, sounds

 

Brain Highways also provides weekly multimedia education and ideas for parents through audio and video clips and handouts. Some of the education includes positive behavior approaches.

Brain Highways’ program has been known to help people with ADD/ADHD, Sensory Processing, Autism, Eating Disorders, Behavior disorders, and Learning Disorders. It is a great program to look into if you or your child struggle with a disorganized brain.