When the Teacher Asks: What Do I Do?

Two days ago, when I took my son to school, he was in a great mood. He was the first child in the building, so he eagerly went inside and was ready to start his work. However, when we got to his class, he had to go to the bathroom. We walked to the bathroom, and eight minutes later returned to class. By that time, the class was filled with students. My son got very nervous and started saying, “Too loud.” As I went to reach for his headphones, he started stimming (a hum sound) to calm himself. I then got his chewy and tried to pass him off to his teacher. The teacher looked at me, and then looked at my son. Then, she looked back to me in desperation and said, “What do I do about this?” I told her, “Just give him time and some space. He will calm down and put his tools up when he is ready.” Then, I left feeling upset.

I was upset because as an educator myself, I would have never said this to a parent. I always wanted the parent to feel confident about leaving their child with me.  I felt like she should have known what to do. When I got home, all I thought about was what I could do to help her have more tools to know what to do.  I have already provided her with:

·        a two page letter explaining my son’s disorder, how the disorder affects him, and how to respond to him

·        tools my son might need while in her class (his chewy stixx, sun glasses, head phones)

·        additional information about my son’s anxiety (spoken to her in a before school started conference).

Upon looking at the list of things I have done, I realized how hard his teacher has tried already to accommodate him. To ease his anxiety, she gave me a copy of the schedule and discipline routine, so we could prepare my son at home before school started. She also allowed practice visits so we could practice walking into school before the year began. She really does want him to be successful and that is why was reaching out to me to be a partner in my son’s education. Thinking about this totally changed my attitude.

I decided that my next step to be a partner with my son’s teacher was to provide her with a list of strategies to help my son. Here is what I came up with:

When my son appears to be overwhelmed,

·        give him his bag of tools.

·         allow him to go to a calm down spot in the classroom.

·        give him a bear hug for deep pressure (if he will allow you).

·        let him take a break from the environment.  Try asking him to take a break to the bathroom or to get a drink. Sometimes changing the environment can help him refocus.

·        redirect his focus to something else (such as a computer). Sometimes redirection helps ease his anxiety. He then is focused on an object and not his fear.

I know that communication is the key between parents and teachers to ensure a child’s success. It is important for a teacher and parent to be honest with each other, so the child gets the most out of their educational experience. I am glad now that his teacher reached out to me today. Hopefully, these strategies will help her next time.