Patience with Special Needs

Raising a special needs child can be challenging. There are moments your patience is running out. There are days when you are running on empty.

One of our most challenging times for us is waking up in the morning. My kids normally sleep from 9 pm to 9 am (Yes, this is a parents dream! It has not always been like this and some days there are several wake ups between those hours). But since they are late sleepers, waking up early for school is hard. My son wakes up very floppy. He has a hard time in the morning standing up, balancing, and walking. He needs a good 30 to 40 minutes before he can actually try to dress himself, and even then, he requires help. He is so floppy that he just falls all over the place while I am trying to help him get dressed. This can be very frustrating. It requires a lot of patience during toe 15 to 20 minutes of getting him dressed.

So, how do I find patience in times that seem challenging? I do these five things:

1.     I adjust my expectations. Every day is different. Some days I just need to look at what we are up against and adjust my expectations a little. For example, if we are having a challenging morning, I might increase our getting ready time or use extra motivators.

 

2.     I take a break. Sometimes I need to just walk away for a little bit and take a breath or two or three until I am ready to readdress the issue.

 

 I have a friend who confessed to me that she took on a job, so she could have a part time break. She said it was the best thing she did for her and her child. When she comes home now, she has a lot of patience and is eagerly ready to assist her child.

 

3.     I take care of myself. I make sure I am getting enough sleep. If I need to, I will take a nap when the kids nap or nap when they are at school. When I am well rested, I have more patience. I also make sure I am eating. It is easy to pass meals because your child needs you. I pack protein bars on days that I can’t eat, or I plan my meals around therapy times.

 

4.     I find ways to calm myself. If my child is screaming (and there is nothing I can do but let it run its course), I will put on headphones or listen to music. I will practice deep breathing. I will pray for strength and patience.

 

5.     I find help. My husband and I are great at trading off duties. If one of us is not getting through to our child or about to lose patience, we switch. When he is at work, I have a few friends that will watch my children for an hour or two while I have some me time.

 

Believe me, I do not always get it right. Even though I do consider myself pretty patient, when I get really stressed out, I can be a yeller. I often feel guilty when it gets to that point and dwell on what I could have done differently at that moment, but that can’t fix the past. I just try everyday to be the best mom I can be, and these five tips help me do that.