Helping a Child Work Through Tactile Defensiveness

On Monday we went to the doctor for my daughter’s two year old check up. She had fun in the waiting room messing around with her brother and walked like a big girl back to the room when a nurse came and got us. The second that the nurse tried to take her temperature everything changed. My child who was happy and calm, hyper-flexed her body (her body became straight and tight) and started screaming. There was nothing I could do to calm her down. From there on, it only got worse when the doctor then came in and tried to listen to her heart, check her ears, weigh her, and get her measurements. It got so bad that my daughter started hyperventilating. The doctor backed away and gave us some space. In twenty minutes, my daughter did calm down. The doctor came in and asked me some questions about my daughter’s behavior. I talked to her about how my daughter does not like to be touched, she avoids contact with other people and children, she will take off her clothes because they are ouchy, she avoids certain textures, there are times when she avoids being picked up/hugged/cuddled (even with mom and dad), she hates water/ cloths on her face, and brushing her teeth is a struggle.  

The doctor then talked to me about Tactile Defensiveness (TD). Tactile Defensiveness is when a child has a negative response to tactile stimuli that others think is non painful. Children that have Tactile Defensiveness can be aggressive, cling, run away, or freeze. My child will scream and get stiff or cling. Sometimes she will freeze and be silent. The doctor said that since my daughter was hyper- responsive and hyper-sensitive, she wanted to see her again and possibly refer us for more testing to make sure she only has Sensory Processing Disorder. For now, she said to talk to our Occupational Therapist for ideas of things to do at home. Here are some ideas I got after talking to our Occupational Therapist:

1.     Sensory Bins- each bin has a different textures such as rice, beans, spaghetti, sand, shaving cream  (I have a detailed list of bins on my blog that I have done in the past)

2.     Facial massages with hand and critter vibe prior to washing hair (with water)or face (with towel)

3.     Brushing- with firm/ deep pressure- straight down deep pushes on the arms, back, and legs (I have a detailed explanation of this on my blog)

4.     Compressions

5.     Do not approach child from behind and ask to touch child or give a prompt that you are about to touch child- “Can Mommy hold you?”

6.     Minimize time in line or have child stand in the back of a line

7.      Try weighted blanket/ vest or compression vest (my child HATES this)

8.     During bath time encourage child to use a cloth or sponge. If this is too much, put a fun sponge in the tub for play.

9.     Heavy work activities- pushing/ pulling activities (such as pushing laundry basket), jump on trampoline, swing, rock on rocking horse, or carry heavy backpack

10. Encourage child to pay with their food and make meal time fun

As parents, we want a quick fix when we see our children struggling. I know after our appointment, I want to “fix it”. The reality is that there is no quick fix, but there still is hope. Things will get better. It just takes time. Showing up to therapy and working on these things at home can help your child progress a little faster. Right now, it can feel a little discouraging, but I can’t wait to look back at our six month appointment with our doctor and see how far we have come!

Getting Through the School Doors

A new school year brings a new teacher, new classmates, new schedule, new supplies, and to some, even a new school. It is totally normal for most kids get the first day of school jitters. For special needs children, the first day of school jitters can last a week or even a month. It can also be more than jitters; it can be anxiety that comes with frequent bathroom breaks, loose stools, throwing up, loss of appetite, excessive crying, or refusal to even make it through the school doors.

Our first day of school was hard on both my son and me. It is so hard to watch him struggle and work through his anxiety. It took about fifteen to twenty minutes to get him through the door. Then once inside, it took another ten to fifteen minutes to help calm him down.

Yesterday, I talked to his therapist about tips to help a child cope with a new school year. Here are ways you can help get your child through the school doors:

1.     Practice when no one is there- practice waking up early and showing up to the school on holidays or weekends, so your child can get use to the drive to school. Practice getting out of the car and walking up to the school. If the school is open (talk to the staff in advanced), practice walking the hallways and going in to the classroom. This will help your child get used to the back to school routine.

 

2.     Make a visual- Make a visual calendar and schedule so your child will know what days they go to school, and what they do at school. When making a visual, we first walk the school and take pictures. We have pictures of his school, the hallway, his class, and his teacher. We then cut out the pictures and glue them onto paper to show his schedule. It always helps my son to know what is next.

 

3.     Help child relax- Before your child gets into the car, do a relaxing activity. This could include the brushing technique, compressions, roll child up in blanket like a burrito (deep pressure), deep breathing, or jump on a trampoline. Also, make sure your child has therapy items with them to help keep them relaxed throughout the day. We pack ear muffs, chewy, sunglasses, and a fidget.

 

4.     Read a story- Reading can also be therapeutic. Reading books about going back to school can help a child know what to expect. Here are some great back to school books: “The Kissing Hand” by Audrey Penn, “Wemberly Worried” by Ken Henkins, “First Day Jitters” by Julie Danneberg, “A Bad Case of Stripes” by David Shannon, “Chrysanthemum” by Kevin Henkins,  and “Stand Tall Molly Lou Melon” by Patty Lovell. There are also great social stories on the web as well.

 

5.     Watch a show about going to school- Shows can also help ease anxiety. “Daniel Tiger Goes to School” is about Daniel being worried that his dad can’t stay with him. This would be great for children that are worried about their parents not being there. “Arthur Back to School Day” and “Arthur and The Real Mr. Ratburn” discuss a child’s anxiety about having a new teacher.

 

6.     Talk to Your Child- Talk to your child about their fears. Reassure them that it is okay to be scared, but we cannot let our fears get the best of us. Discuss then with your child what to do when they are scared, so they know ways to appropriately respond. Also, talk about ways that are not appropriate. It is a good idea to make a chart, so your child can see appropriate ways to react to fear and not appropriate ways to react.

 

I hope these tips help all of our children settle into a new school year. One thing I have learned over the years is that it is hard in the beginning, but it does get easier as they fall into their new routine.

Renewing Your Strength

Being a special needs parent is very demanding. You have therapy appointments, doctor appointments, counseling appointments, evaluations, and tests all mixed in with everyday life.  With everything going on, it is easy to feel isolated and lose yourself in the mix. This is why it is important to take time out to renew your strength in order to do the best job you can do. Here are ways that I have found helpful in renewing my strength:

1.      Find a support - Having special needs friends really helps you renew your strength. They give you a judgment free place for you to vent, cry or celebrate. Look around the internet, doctor’s offices and therapy lobby to find another special needs parent that you can go to for support.

 

2.      Get rest- Try to sleep and rest when you can. If your child takes a nap, take a nap too (the laundry can wait).

 

3.      Take a short break- If your child is having a hard time calming down, allow them to calm down in their room for a little bit, so you can have a break. If your child is having a great day, then encourage independent play time, so you can quickly renew your strength.

 

4.      Practice deep breathing, mediation, or prayer- Close your eyes and take some deep slow breaths. Meditate to relaxing music. Spend time with God reflecting on his word and praying.

 

5.      Find a good babysitter or barter time with another special needs parent, so you are able to take an hour or so for you.

 

6.      Take time for you- go on a walk, shop, plan a spa day, eat lunch with a friend, get your hair done, take a bubble bath, or take a nap. Whatever it is that you find relaxing, take some time to do that for yourself.

 

7.      Let others know your needs- There will be people who want to help, but don’t know what you need. Let them know, so they can be there for you.

I hope these suggestions help you when you are running on empty. Your child needs you, so it is important to make your well being a priority.  Always remember that you have needs too!

Getting Your Child Classroom Accommodations (504 Meeting)

If you have a special needs child, the school might hold a 504 meeting. This is different from an IEP (or ARD) meeting. The 504 meeting will provide accommodations, but WILL NOT change the general curriculum (modifications) received by students. It just modifies the environment in which the student receives the information.

 

The Law

Section 504 is part of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. Its purpose is to prevent discrimination on a person based on disability. It requires disabled student’s needs to be met as well as the needs of the non-disabled. The person with a disability will not be “excluded from participation, be denied benefits, or be subjected to discrimination under any program or activity receiving federal financial assistance.”

This law covers anyone from the age of 3 to 22 who has a

·        “physical or mental impairment that limits one or more major life activity” (self care, manual tasks, eating, breathing, sitting, walking, communicating, learning, concentrating, or interacting with others)

·        “has record of impairment” (a learning disability, behavior or health condition that lessens the students ability to learn in an educational setting)

·        “is regarded for having an impairment” (a learning disability, behavior or health condition that lessens the students ability to learn in an educational setting)

Getting a 504 Meeting

Anyone (parent, doctor, care giver, teacher) can refer a child for evaluation if they think the child has an impairment, but the school must also have reason to believe the child is in need of services. If a school refuses to evaluate a student, they must provide the parent with a paper of their 504 rights. If you disagree with their decision, you may submit a grievance to the district 504 coordinator with proof of why your child needs services.

If a teacher or staff member refers a child for a 504 evaluation, the parent will be notified. However, unlike IEP (also known as ARD) meeting for Special Education, 504 meetings do not require a parent to be a part of the decision making process although some schools will encourage parents to be there. If the parent is not present, most of the time they are asked to provide outside information such as doctor / therapist reports or tests.

During an evaluation, a committee (usually Vice principal, teacher, counselor) will look over students grades, tests, teacher reports/ observations, attendance record, behavior record,  and parent papers. If the documents show a child would benefit from accommodations, then accommodations will be written up to be put in place in a regular classroom by the classroom teacher. The parent will also receive a document of the 504 accommodations that will be put in place.

Examples of accommodations include:

·        Seat in the front of the classroom

·        Seating away from groups or other students

·        Use study carrel

·        Change of font or larger print for written material given to child

·        Use colored overlay while reading

·        Use text to speech technology

·        Listen to book on cd and follow along

·        Test directions read to them

·        Sign language interpreter

·        Respond verbally when assessed (instead of written assessment)

·        Extended time

·        Review (directions, class material)

·        Notes about instruction

·        Trackballs instead of mouse for computers

·        Different writing utensil

·        Concrete examples

·        Graphic organizers to help sort information

·        Visual and verbal cues

·        Use computers, calculators, or voice recording device

·        Visual schedule or task checklist

·        Hands –on activities (manipulatives)

·        Frequent breaks

·        Behavior Intervention Plan

·        Individual contracts

·        Support teacher/ auxiliary aid

·        Small group testing

If you feel like your child does not have "an impairment” and does not need 504 accommodations, you can file a grievance for disagreeing with identification, evaluation, or implementation. The district 504 coordinator should assist you with this process if needed.

How to Get an IEP (individualized Education Plan) for Your Child

Before I became a stay at home therapy mom, I taught in the classroom for eight years. I am very familiar with the process to get my children help if needed. I am also very aware of our rights. It is so important for special needs parents to know your rights, and how to get services for your child, so you can advocate for your child.  You are their best advocate!

The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) helps special needs parents work with educators to create and Individualized Education Plan (IEP) that helps special needs children succeed in school. The IEP states the child’s goals as well as the support (accommodations / modifications) the child will need to be successful.

 Any child struggling in school is edible for an IEP. Most students that have IEP’s have learning disabilities, cognitive disabilities, ADD/ ADHD, Autism, emotional disorders, behavioral disorders, impairments (hearing, visual, speech),or developmental delays.

The process begins when a parent, doctor, or teacher notifies the school of their concern. The school will then have the parent, teacher, and possibly doctor fill out paperwork on their observations of the student including analysis of their performance. Then everyone will bring their data to the meeting and the parent and student can voice their concerns. All of this information will then be looked at by the personnel (which could include the Vice Principal, Teacher, Counselor, Support Teacher, and/ or Therapists) to determine if services are needed or if a child first needs to be tested for a disability. If it is concluded that the child needs services to help them be successful at school, an IEP meeting, also known as an Admission, Review, and Dismissal (ARD) meeting happens next.  

At this meeting, the personnel (which could include the Vice Principal, Teacher, Counselor, Support Teacher, and/ or Therapists) will discuss your child’s needs (accommodations / modifications) and create short term and long term goals. Next, everyone will discuss support your child will need. Support could include special education, therapy, or counseling. Last, everyone will sign the document saying they are in agreement. If you disagree with any part of the IEP before it is in place, mediation meetings are an option; however, during this time, your child will not receive services. An attorney or an advocate can also provide representation if needed.

Once an IEP is put into place, the goal is for the child to be put in the least restrictive environment.  Some children will stay and receive services in a regular classroom, while others will be put into a special class.

The IEP will be reviewed (by law every three years) to make sure the goals still meet your child’s needs. At this time, you can add or take away anything from the document that no longer helps the child succeed.

Where I Go When Everything Falls Apart

Last week a member of a special needs group that I belong to post a Bible scripture verse to encourage other special needs parents. Some parents were encouraged, but some parents were very upset and got the post removed.  I know everyone has different beliefs, but I know where I go when everything falls apart. I go to my knees and cry out to God.

I don’t know what I would have done without God by my side during this journey. When we started this journey and my son lost all language and wasn’t responding to his name, I was scared- no terrified. God met me where I was and gave me peace. I felt assurance that he was going to walk along side me in this journey, and I wasn’t going to be completely alone. Yes, there were times in the beginning I was mad and wondered why this was happening to us. I mean I did everything right. I followed the pregnancy diet of the do and do not eat list, I took all my prenatal vitamins, I went to every appointment, I did exercise, and once born, I took my son to all of his appointments to get his shots, and I was so careful of germs (yes, clean freak). I just didn’t understand how this could happen. But, even when I was angry, HE was there. Then, when my son got really sick, and we were in the hospital and seeing specialists, my anxiety could have got the best of me, but he gave me hope and renewed my strength each day.

Where ever you are in this journey, I pray that you also have someone to go to. It is too hard to walk alone.

29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. - Isaiah 40:29-31

Top 10 Items to Help Sensory, ADD/ ADHD, and Autistic Kids in the Classroom

Wanting to help improve concentration and lessen the anxiety of your child in the classroom? Here are some supplies you might want to include while shopping for their back to school items.

1.     Chew Stixx Pencil Toppers- These rubber pencil toppers prevent your child from destructive grinding. They are bacteria free and come textured, smooth, scented, or shaped. They cost $ 4.00 each or a set of two for $8.00.

 

2.     Desk Buddy Sensory Ruler- This ruler is not only bendable but has several textures. It will help your child keep calm and focus as they feel the different tactile textures. They are $ 10.00.

 

3.     Pencil Grips-  Massager Grips- These pencil grips have tiny bristles that massage your child’s fingers and give tactile sensory input. They are $.45 each. Bumpy Gel Grips- These pencil grips encourage a tripod grasp. It is texture to give your child tactile sensory input. They are $1.79

 

4.     Seating Discs- Pleated Disc Cushion- This chair cushion allows your child to move in every direction while seated. It is great for children that need to rock or move to get input. They are $26.00. Balance Seating Disc Combo- helps child develop core strength while providing a wiggle seat for children needing input through moving. They are $24.00.

 

5.     Feet Shape Steppers- This is a great foot fidget device used under the desk for children who need to move to get input. It is $40.00.

 

6.     Fidget Foot Bands- This is a stretchy band you can put around desk or chair legs to help a child that needs movement for input. Kids can push, pull, and kick their feet without bothering other students! It is $4.00.

 

7.     Classroom Light Filters- These light covers help create a calming classroom and are great for children who are sensitive to the light. They are $34.00 for a set of four.

 

8.     Full Page Reading Guide- These color filters or overlays are very helpful for children with visual perceptual problems. They come in different colors and are $3.00 each.

 

9.     Weighted Lap Pad- This lap pad gives the child deep pressure for self regulation.  It is squeezable and made with gel ,so it can also be used as a fidget seat pad too. It is $30.00 - $34.00.

 

10.  Noise Reduction Devices- Ear Muffs -These ear muffs are available in many different colors and help reduce noise for children that are auditory sensitive. They are $25.00. Ear Plugs- The ear plugs are yellow and great for older children. They are $3.00 for a set of 5 pairs.

All of these items are available at the Therapy Shoppe. I really like their company. We have had great experiences with them. They also have a section for classroom tools where you can find other great back to school items. I hope my top ten items help you as you search for things that will help your child have the best year yet!