Strategies to Help Your Child During A Meltdown

Many people do not understand the difference between a meltdown and a tantrum. During a tantrum, a child remains in control and can stop at anytime. Tantrums usually happen because a child wants something (an object/ attention/ their way). When a child is having a tantrum they will monitor if they are getting their way, and won’t allow themselves to get hurt. The child will also stop when they have reached their goal (ex: you bought the candy they wanted).

Meltdowns, on the other hand, happen often in children who have neurological disorders. It usually happens when a child is overwhelmed (with sensory, emotions, information, or change) and no longer feels in control. They also seem to get worse over time, and the child is not concerned about their audience.

It is important to watch for triggers of meltdowns to prevent them. You will normally see your child in distress (breathing hard, stimming, rise in anxiety, change of voice (pitch) or change in facial expressions) before a meltdown takes place. Try to address it then before the meltdown happens. Yesterday, I gave several ideas for this. There is also a great book to read on preventing meltdowns called No More Meltdowns by Dr. Jed Baker. In the book, he gives you a 4-step model that is easy to implement.

Sometimes you can’t prevent it, and meltdowns happen. When a meltdown happens, it is important to have strategies to help your child get through it.

1.     If your child will let you touch them, apply deep pressure. Give them a bear hug, wrap them in a weighted blanket, massage, put on a weighted or compression vest. If your child doesn’t want to be touched, create a calming space for your child to go (a tent, corner with cushions or pillows, sensory room).

 

2.     Redirect your child’s focus with a change of scenery, an object, sour spray, or calming music.

 

3.     Stay calm and encourage deep breathing.

 

4.     If the child begins to be physically violent, know how to restrain your child and get them to a safe place. In that safe place, be sure to provide things that help calm your child.

 

Meltdowns can feel like a waiting game. They drain all of your energy. Please remember that when a child is having a meltdown they are no longer feeling in control. To try to talk to them, threaten punishment, or punish will not work or make it worse. The best thing you can do for your child is meltdown prevention.