Encouraging Good Behavior in Special Needs Childs

Part of our jobs as parents is to encourage our children, but sometimes we get so busy that we do not pay as much attention as we should to the good things our child are doing. If our children see that they get more attention for the bad things they are doing, we are teaching them to act up in order to get our attention. Therefore, it is very important to ignore, redirect, or give consequences to bad behavior and encourage good behavior through positive reinforcement. I have found with special needs children that visuals are very productive in reinforcement along with quality time and praise. Here are some ways you can reinforce good behavior:

 

1.     A chart- Create a sticker chart or chore chart for your child. For my daughter, who needs to just focus on one thing at a time, we did a sticker chart. She has one goal behavior that we are working on. Every time she does that goal behavior, she gets a sticker on her sticker chart. When her chart is filled, she can pick out a prize.

Potty Chart

 

 

For my son, we did a chore chart. He is responsible for doing five things throughout the day. He earns stickers when he accomplishes his tasks or behavior. If he doesn’t do a task, he does not get a sticker for that behavior.  He can earn up to five stickers a day. If you notice that your child is unable to reach the goal of five stickers a day, you might want to cut it back to three goals. Every night, we review the goals, and discuss how many stickers he received for that day. Here is an example of my son’s chart:

 

Goals:  1. Does Homework, 2. Gets dressed by himself, 3. Uses restroom by himself, 4. Stays in bed throughout the night, 5. Cleans up after himself

 

2.     Behavior jar- The behavior jar is used to focus on one behavior. When the child does that positive behavior, they are instantly rewarded by something to put in the jar. Whenever my children are spotted doing something nice to each other or being a good friend to someone else, they can have a coin to add to the behavior jar. When the behavior jar is full, we cash in our coins for ice cream or a special restaurant like Chuck E Cheese.

 

3.     Quality Time- Children love one on one time with their parent. If my children go a whole day with no time outs, they earn quality time with daddy when he comes home. They get to pick the 30 minute activity they want to do with dad. Activities include: watch a movie, play a game, play a sport, play with a toy, go to the playground, or go on a walk. If my children go to time out that day, when daddy comes home we eat dinner and start our bed time routine (30 minutes to an hour earlier than usual). They still spend time with daddy, but it is not an activity they selected.

 

4.     Praise (clap and cheer) - Catch your child doing something good and praise them. For example: “Thank you for helping your sister pick up her toys. You are such a great helper.” This will encourage your child and make your child want to help you so they can get more praise. Whenever I praise my children, their whole face lights up from being so proud. I love seeing them encouraged.

 

5.     Give Them a Choice- Sometimes children need a little guidance to make a choice. It is helpful for special needs kids to give them just two choices. For example, when my son wants a toy my daughter is playing with, I will tell him, “You can ask her nicely, or you can set the timer and we can take turns.”

 

6.     Use the Timer- My children love the timer. We use the timer to encourage a timely manner of eating so we are not eating for over an hour (20- 30 minutes per meal). We also use the timer to pick up our toys or clean up the house. When the timer goes off, we do a little dance to celebrate what we accomplished in that time. The timer is a great visual of time.